Greg's Big Trip

Adelaide

2008-06-15T12:14:00.003+10:00

I'm in Melbourne again now, but let me tell you about Adelaide...

As we stopped for lunch in the town of Frances just on the border of Victoria and South Australia, a man in a suit stopped to ask what we were doing lolling around on the grass outside a pub. After we explained and said we were traveling to Adelaide, he said "Ahh, Adelaide? That's where people go to die. Heh, I shouldn't say that; I'm from Adelaide". When speaking to Aussies about Adelaide in the past, the worst I've heard is that "Adelaide has the worst drinking water in the world; cargo ships refuse to fill their tanks there". As such, it seems that the locals think of Adelaide as a smaller version of Brisbane.

They may be right, but I liked Brisbane, and my time in Adelaide was fine, even though at the time, I was complaining of having nothing to do.

The YHA hostel was friendly and welcoming; with a pool table, lovely kitchen, a home-brew jukebox PC and a ping-pong table.

I went with a girl I'd met called Christina (who claims to have worked as an abseiling high-rise window-cleaner back in Sydney) to a "Reconciliation Faire". There were all manner of freebies,; radios, tennis balls, stickers, lanyards and even free hot-dogs. I had a chat with a man from a stall who turned out to be Aboriginal who was a lawyer specialising in Indigenous Relations and who traveled around the country (often camping under the stars) to meet the far-out tribes and groups, discussing their needs. He was called Fred.

After that, a few days passed. Coffee was drunk from the coffeehouse in the middle of Rundel St Mall, I read my book* and ping was ponged.

On the last night before I flew to Sydney, one of the guys came running into the common room exclaiming "There's a table football competition in the bar down the road! - No teams have entered yet and they need five teams to make the league. The winning team gets a $100 bar tab! We should go, then whoever wins can share out the beers!"

So we did. All eight of us. There turned out to be one other team made up of locals.

Huzzar, one of the YHA teams won (the team I was on "The Drop-Bears" came third), and so we drank late into the evening. The barman even ordered pizza for us! (It looked good, it smelt good too... ).

And so I left Adelaide, drunk on winning, and hung over from the resultant celebrations.

* I was despirate for a book to read; the only one I could find that wasn't a soppy romance book was a compilation of Jeremy Clarkson's column from the Sunday Times. Sorry :(

That which is nothing

2008-06-15T12:02:00.002+10:00

We bought a fruit. It looked tasty and it was cheap from the Queen Victoria Market in Melbourne. The woman at the stall assured us that it was delicious, that you could eat both the fruit itself and the skin.

For the princely sum on AU$1, we took the persimmon back to the hostel, split it in four and started eating it.

Persimmons are the worst fruit in the world. Not because they taste bad. Because they are lazy. They have no flavour, they have no taste, their texture is that of indifference. Persimmons just don't try. At all. They taste and feel of nothing. They give you nothing in return for your AU$1, and you are left with a heart heavy with disappointment.

Groovy Grape from Melbourne to Adelaide

2008-05-31T13:14:00.003+10:00

Whilst in Melbourne, at a loss as to what to do next, Laura and Kate suggested I travel along the Great Ocean Road to Adelaide with "Groovy Grape". I'd never heard of the company, but I trusted their recommendation and booked the trip.

There were seven of us (three Brits, two Canadians, one German girl and a Dutch girl), as well as Jen, our guide and driver from South Wales(!). Our three day drive from Melbourne to Adelaide was a blast; BBQs, fish and chips, the "Round The Twist" Lighthouse, the 12 Apostles (rocks in the sea - currently there are only 9 left standing), the Grampians (a mountain range) and a climb up Mount Hollow. One lunchtime, Jen asked if we'd like to play in the maze of the park we were eating lunch in. We agreed and then I saw a zipwire. Lunch was forgotten as we ran and zip'd back and forth along the wire. Brill!

This is just a quick summary of what happened; I'll update further when I have a bit more internettle time :)

So Long Sunshine, Hello Victoria

2008-05-30T19:06:00.004+10:00

I arrived in Melbourne a few weeks ago... I'm not sure when to be precise, but a while back or thereabouts. I flew down on Virgin Blue and arrived at the YHA Melbourne Central hostel. The surly woman behind the counter seemed to disapprove of me, yet the hostel was friendly enough.

I befriended a group of cool Canadians and hung around with them for the two or three weeks I was in Melbourne. It mostly involved lazing around, walking through the city, mooching on the free Yarra Tram and Melbourne tourist shuttle, shopping in the Victoria Markets and drinking. Stacie had a birthday, so we went to Wagamamas*!!!

I also met up with a British girl I met in Hervey Bay who was traveling south at the time and ended up in Melbourne. Her, her friend and I also mooched around and lived the dream; we even went to an AFL game at the MCG.

Laura, Kate, Dan and I were walking along the north bank of the Yarra when we fell upon a reel of fishing wire. Dan followed the wire into the water, started pulling and discovered an eel on the end of it! To cries of "Throw the damn thing back! Don't touch it", he tried to unhook it. The eel wasn't so helpful and covered his hands and coat in eel slime. Eww!

The people in my dorm were somewhat weird; a bloke from the WA mines (Rio-Tinto or BHP Biliton) and a bloke who was making podcasts of weird people; he showed me a picture of a girl who was having a "scar tattoo" - ouch! They were both Olympic-standard snorers :(

Melbourne definitely has a Cafe Culture. You can't walk down a street without navigating through bustling cafes bursting onto the pavement.

For my final day, we went to a coffee shop that was recommended to me by my ex project manager friend from Seven. It turned out to be a long way from the centre, but it was filled with caek and very good cwoffee, so we didn't mind that much! :D

*The staff at Wagamama QV Melbourne were useless; they didn't know about the 250Points = Free Wagamama T-Shirt, and the night manager had to be told by another member of staff that Sydney was in Australia! The food was good, so if you find yourself in Melbourne, check it out, but make sure you don't ask them any er tricky geographical questions :P

Road Trip from Cairns to Cape Tribulation

2008-05-16T13:18:00.003+10:00

Back in Magnetic Island, I bumped into a girl called Tanja; it turned out we both wanted to travel up to the Daintree and Cape Tribulation. I left Magnetic Island shortly after, then she caught up with me in Cairns. We rented ourselves a Wicked Van.

We picked up our van from somewhere in North Cairns. We hadn't pre-booked one, but they found a van for us* and we drove happily (if tentatively) back into Cairns city centre to pick up our bags from the hostel. We stocked up the van with food and water from Bi-Lo, then drove off northwards. First stop, petrol. Could we find the petrol cap? Eventually. Once we had, could we find the release lever? We had to ask a couple in a HippyCamper(tm) van. :)

Once filled up, we drove north along the Cook Highway to Port Douglas, stopping half way at a lookout over the Pacific ocean. A guy was flying his R/C glider as a couple of other people watched the waves crash onto the shore.

Tanja drove from the lookout up to Port Douglas; She's a very good driver, but could well be more used to Autobahns than windy roads :D We arrived in Port Douglas at around 4pm, just as the Tourist Information bureau was shutting up shop. We were directed to "Dougies" Campsite and Hostel, which turned out to be a great place to stay. It even had a huge picture of a monkey sitting on a deckchair with a cocktail and a hat... Amazing!

It turned out that Tanja is a teacher of sports and technology (including cooking). I hadn't eaten so well from a hostel kitchen for a long time! Yum!

I was a bit apprehensive about the van; the floor was hard and the matrices were thin, but it turned out to be quite comfortable. Plus, with the window open, you could fall asleep to the sounds of the birds and animals outside.

From Dougies, we drove north again to Mosman Gorge (see photos). As we drove up there, we saw an aboriginal walking with no shoes along the lonely stretch of road we had been driving down for some time. We suspected he was paid to walk up and down it, to give a sense of authenticity to the tourists :P.

Mosman Gorge was a wonderful sight; a circular walk through the rainforest with swimming holes and a swing bridge. We took photos of each other sitting on rocks in a river; I found a good one to sit on, but couldn't get back - the rock was slippery and the water very fast flowing. After a good ten minutes of scrambling around from rock to rock, I eventually made it back to dry land and we walked back to the van for lunch. We sat on deckchairs behind our van eating sandwiches and watching the tourists drive past.

Continuing northwards, we drove along a dirt road to "Koalas" campsite, located by a river and on the sea. (Crocs?) We found a metal spike in the ground and wondered what it was for... it turns out it's used to open the coconuts that fall throughout the campsite. This was the first night we could see the stars as they were meant to be seen. Hundreds of thousands of them; the milky way; it was breathtaking. In addition to stars, we saw many cain toads too. No, we didn't play the national sport of Toad Hockey; we'll leave that to the locals.

There were some professional Aussie campers in Koalas. They had BBQs, Awnings, and seemed to be living in a hastily constructed Tentopolis! That night, I panicked as to whether we could drive the van so far north, but after checking the agreement it turned out to be fine.

The next day, we drove do the Daintree River ferry. Before crossing, we bought tickets to a Daintree river cruise and the Daintree Discovery Centre (a skywalk & tower tour). Crossing the river, we saw "Danger Crocodiles" signs (as we were to see for almost every river we crossed on our way up).

We stopped at the Daintree Discovery Centre and spent the rest of the morning exploring the different levels of the forest. We had hoped to see a cassowary, but they must have been hiding that day! The "Interactive Interpretive Exhibition" consisted of some forest fruit, a plastic cassowary and some hilariously bad 1980s stop-motion animated videos of the evolution of Australian wildlife. After a coffee in the cafe, we drove a short way to the Janga(?) boardwalk to have a picnic.

After lunch, we drove further northwards and stopped at the Daintree Ice Cream Company, nestled in an orchard containing all the fruits they use for their ice creams. I had a frozen mango juice and Tanja had the ice cream, which she confirmed was good.

Continuing our journey, we arrived in Cape Tribulation. Being a bit nervous of driving on dirt roads (by this point, we had seen that our rental agreement prohibited driving on unsealed roads), we tried a campsite on the sealed road into Cape Tribulation. This turned out to be deserted, so we took our chances and drove down the dirt road (er, I mean "long driveway") to "Cape Tribulation Campsite", which also a couple of metres from the beach. The guy at reception said that his campsite had the best rainwater in Australia; the prevailing wind blew from the ocean and the nearest landmass was South America. This was handy, as the rainwater from the roof of the kitchen was also the drinking water (goodness knows where the water from the non-drinking water taps came from!).

We spent two nights in Cape Tribulation, mostly lazing around and enjoying the fresh air, beach, boardwalks and bottleshop. :D We walked around a large circular boardwalk and also tried to walk along a forest path. Alas it was rather othergrown; to the point that we walked past the entrance twice. The first time we walked up the road to find it, it felt as if we'd walked half way to Cooktown!

After our two nights, we drove back down, crossed the Daintree River on the cable ferry and took the river cruse from Daintree Village. We could barely understand the chap giving the tour, but he had eagle-like eyes for spotting crocodiles and tree snakes.

We then drove back down to Dougies, spending the night relaxing and drinking; We had a bit of drink to finish off, as we had hoped to take part in the free sailing at the Port Douglas Yacht Club, but arrived too late and were too far down the list. We didn't mind, as it was a good place to sit and watch the sunset. As way of thank you to the yachtsman, we had bought beer, which we had to take back to the campsite and drink ourselves... what a shame! :D :D :D

The next day, we drove back to Cairns, said goodbye to our van and returned to the YHA Hostel, our adventure at an end.

This has definitely been the best five days of my trip so far. Wonderful stuff!

* The Beetles, see photos in the usual place.

Cairns

2008-05-01T16:40:00.007+10:00

I've arrived at the top of the Dog track! Cairns is a welcome change from the smaller towns (read villages/hamlets) that I've stayed in since leaving Brisy. They even have a small Myer - the Australian equivalent to John Lewis :D

The Dog was on time and schedule, unlike at Airlie beach, where we had to wait 4.5hrs... in the unrelenting heat of that afternoon we really got to know that bus shelter; and each other!

Whilst at Magnetic Island, I was befriended by another stray dog (why do the come to me? :/). I called the number on its collar; the chap at the other end of the line said he was stuck on the mainland and didn't know who else could look for it. Thankfully, a bloke turned up in a ute, asked if I was ok and said he'd take the dog to the local plant nursery (?!). Given that I couldn't do much with said dog, I agreed and called the owner back to inform him. The bloke picked up the beast, hoss'd him onto the flat bed of his ute and drove off; the dog just stood on the back, staring at the world as it went past in a way that only a dog could - CraZy!

The hostel in Cairns (another YHA) is friendly and clean. Alas the reception staff are somewhat ineffectual. I've played pool (and won on a technicality - my opponent potted the black. I myself potted the chalk, which was rather embarrassing). I even got to play with the new Canon 450D digital SLR... mmmm shiny... mmmm quick!

Tomorrow I go on an "Outer Reef Cruise", where we can snorkel and hopefully continue to loaf! (a 6:45am start will preclude this at first).

A Quick Book Review

Flat Earth News (Nick Davies) - Very good: give it a read!
Contest (Matthew Reilly) - Rubbish: don't!

Onwards and Upwards

2008-04-29T07:45:00.002+10:00

Today I take the Dog to Cairns. Will report further on this northward progression once I arrive :)

Airlie Beach and Magnetic Island

2008-04-28T16:49:00.008+10:00

(Warning: Confuzzled post ahead; due to: 1. lack of time, 2. heatstroke)

I'm now sitting in the only air-conditioned building in the hostel, here on Magnetic Island. It's h'officially toasty at all times. Even the dorms are open to the elements, with lots of netting for airflow.

I've been good, slop/slap/slurping™, or whatever it is they say to do to avoid sunburn over here. Alas, I'm not really cut out for craZy heat (hence travelling up in winter), and so seem to have acquired heatstroke. I can confirm this to be no fun. It's tough to concentrate; it took me 3 hours to read the newspaper today, and had quite a lot of newsprint on my face from where I had to take frequent rests between paragraphs! :P I had booked a sea canoeing trip for today; thankfully the company hadn't enough people sign-up to be able to run the course, so it was cancelled and I got my money back. There's no way I'd have survived a few hours out at sea on a canoe today! :o But enough with my tales of wobbliness!

After my last post in Rockhampton, I went on a cycle trip to Rockhampton botanic gardens and zoo (see photos) and also to the Rockhampton spire of the Tropic of Capricorn. Did I mention the stone-grilled steak in my last post? Maybe not. It was great; my steak arrived raw on a 400C stone slab. It was up to me to cook it to my own liking. Highly recommended!

From Rockhampton, I took the Dog up to Airlie beach. As we arrived, I felt mistakes had been made. My imaginings of an idyllic beachfront and calm serenity were shattered at the sight of drunken British backpackers stumbling from bar to bar.

Evidently first impressions count, and from that moment, I was ready to leave. Even Rockhampton - which I wasn't too keen on before - shone in comparison to Airlie beach.

So, after my few nights stay, I took the Dog up to Townsville, which I promptly bypassed and took the ferry to Magnetic Island.

I'm staying at Magnetic Island's Bungalow Bay YHA, which is part of a wildlife sanctuary. It's just down the road from Horseshoe Bay which is amazingly beautiful. There are tracks that lead to other almost deserted beaches.

I've mostly been chatting to German people whilst on the island (!), I think they like me as they can understand me, unlike the Aussies who they say make no sense! :P

I held a Koala during my "Koala Champagne Breakfast"* here at the YHA. The girl taking my photo couldn't get her camera to work, and so the poor koala became confused as to why I was holding it for so long. As way of thanks, it gave me a little brown gift on my new white T-shirt** :D They also brought around a snake (a carpet python) and a crocodile whilst we were eating. Great stuff!

*Comprising in true Aussie fashion of: Champagne, toast, sausages and fruit amongst other things.
** Clearly the Koala had noticed that my T-Shirt was from a competing YHA - it was the T-Shirt I had won for my "Services to Drinking" whilst staying at Hervey Bay :P

Brisbane, Hervey Bay and Rockhampton

2008-04-24T07:40:00.002+10:00

I sit writing this in the sunshine under the awning of my ex-Olympic village unit (self contained, stackable) in the Rockhampton YHA. Here's the story from Sydney to here...

Saying farewell to Sydney, I took a cab from Wollstonecraft to the domestic airport terminal, driven by a friendly (albeit sex-mad) Turkish cabbie from the Stig school of motoring. The thirty-five minute journey took an edge-of-your-seat 15 minutes to complete as we bombed through the Sydney tunnels.

Scraping in at 0.4kg below the luggage limit, I flew Virgin Blue to Brisbane, then took the AirTrain to the city centre. My hostel - another YHA - was at the top of a hill of hostels on Upper Roma St. Clean and friendly, I spent most nights awake listening to the screeching of the coal trains navigating a tight corner nearby. Thankfully this would stop at 6am, to be replaced by the demolition team at 7am who kindly spent the day riping down the older rear YHA building that backed onto my room.

A cheerful Belgian chap completed the ambiance by filling the dorm with his er... 'unique' scent and entrancing us with his repertoire of snores (my 'favourite' being the "Silent-Gasp-Groaner", where he sounded as if he were drowning, then followed it through with a long, deep howl at the moon).

Brisbane itself was better than my Sydneyside friends had made out, though only just. Just like Sydney, Brisvegas is being constantly rebuild. The South Bank, complete with man made beach was calming, the Queen Street shopping hub was entertaining, complete with a week-long "Touch the Piano" competition to win said grand.

I finally bought a new camera (another Canon Ixus) and spent time in both Botanic Gardens, Mt Coot-tha, the Planetarium and QUT (Queensland University of Technology), when I was caught out in the rain & had to spend an afternoon drinking coffee & snoozing in their outdoor cafe*

I met some friendly people in the YHA. I was chatting to a woman in the computer area. Something about her attitude/outlook seemed very familiar. After further chats, she turned out to be another Beeber on a sabbatical too. This further fuels my theory that you can spot a Beebie in a lineup!

Whilst in Brissy, I took a day trip to Morton Island (swimming in a lagoon, sand-boarding etc) in a battered Toyota 4x4. - Great fun! We even saw a massive turtle - alas sadly demised; washed up on the beach.

I think seven nights in Brisbane was perhaps one too many, but it's worth visiting even if just using it as a stopping point.

I took the Dog to Hervey Bay (5hrs drive up the Bruce Highway) and was picked up by the YHA's minibus. On arrival, we were given juice and caek, and were then shown around the hostel. It was wonderful, practically a hotel. I booked my accommodation there as part of a Fraser Island tour, so was given an 8-share room. Even this room was impeccably clean, fresh and welcoming - no bunks either! I almost immediately booked a few nights more. Looking back, I wish I'd stayed longer. The bar had a swimming pool, spar and board games. Outside were table tennis, tennis and basket ball courts. The staff were always friendly & scarily remembered my name!

The weather wasn't so great, but was ok on the two days (one night) on Fraser Island. Having been in a 4x4 tour on Morton Island, I, like some of the others was disappointed at finding out the Fraser Island tour was on a 4x4 coach. Thankfully the group was a very friendly one (including the two French girls who joined from my hostel and a civil engineer who was having a 5* holiday from her work back in the UK).

The rainforests were beautiful & the perched lakes warm and welcoming.

The tour company had forgotten my accommodation on the island, so when it came to sleeping, they were rather embarrassed, and so gave me my own schnazzy tent! Yay!

Thankfully, two girls on a the tour were from Tourism Queensland, so knew what to bring - sherry, beer and lots of it! - so the evening went with a bang. A retired couple (part of Australia's Grey Nomads) told us of their life on a remote station in the outback.

Fraser Island was beautiful, but Morton Island (back near Brisbane) was the star attraction for me.

Back at Hervey Bay, the days consisted of loafing, cycling and mooching, followed by beer & card games with the various German, French and British travelers. I drank enough beer to claim my free T-shirt.

I had planned to go to Airlie Beach, but after discovering the ludicrous travel time on the coach, I elected to stop off in Rockhampton for two nights.

Compared to Hervey Bay, the hostel is a bit grim, but then again, HB was exceptionally good. The whole town smells of manure**.

It's the off-season, so when I went out to dinner at 8:45pm, having just stepped off the coach, the restaurant owner told me the chef had gone home at 8:30! So, in the home of beef, I had to make do with eating in a roadside chicken shop, sharing the view of the highway with a weird looking bloke and a gaggle of emo children.

Despite the fragrant nature of Rockhampton, two things stood out for me:

Why is there no orange glow in the distance? :P
Why do the clouds have a beautiful silver lining, but no orange belly? ;D

I'm treating myself to a cabin at the YHA. A plaque on the wall says that it was part of the Sydney 2000 Olympic & Media Village. All I care about is that this is the first time in a long time I've been able to use a hair-drier!

* I stuck my head into their CS lecture theatre... amazing! So much technology. Mind you, I should have guessed, as most students in the cafe were huddled in groups around their own laptops. How things have changed. :)
** Rockhampton is the beef capital of Australia, & where there's moo, there's poo. At night, they drive double-decker cattle lorries presumably to the abattoir, and the nervous cattle release their fear the only way they know how onto the Rockhampton highways.

The Last Wollstonecraft Post

2008-04-08T09:52:00.002+10:00

Today is both a good day and a bad'un.

The good news is that I'm escaping Wollstonecraft to start exploring the rest of Australia as of tomorrow, so this is the last full day here.

The bad news is that I must post my Lappy home to the UK so that it doesn't get lost, damaged, broken or eaten by dingos. {sniff!} We've had some good times together, so the breakup will be tough. :/

The result of all this is that my IQ (Internet Quotient) will drop until I return, which some would say is not such a bad thing! (You may have noticed my falling off of MSN etc. a while back so that my internet abstinence doesn't end up completely cold turkey)

And finally, here is a guide that I have found quite useful. Maybe it will help you too! :)

Tougher than the "Travelling Salesman" problem

2008-04-06T20:04:00.004+10:00

Problem:

3,322 photos.
One online photo gallery (not based on your continent, with an odd sense of what they think would make a good UI).
A WiFi broadband connection.

You wish to organise said photos with the correct:

Sets and Collections (Quite often multiple sets/collections per photo).
Tags (Almost always multiple tags per photo).
Permissions (configured via a separate page for each photo).

After three hours of mindnumbing organisation, the answer is: Arnnnng! :D (Perhaps a few more tomorrow... then the next day, then the next.....)

So long, Seven

2008-04-05T17:55:00.004+11:00

Yesterday was my last day at Seven. There was cake for brunch*, followed by a JD-fueled lunch of fish and chips at the Point Hotel. My lovely team gave me a card and a gift voucher for Kathmandu (The camping shop).

Carla's birthday dinner was in Darlinghurst at Cafe Pacifico with drinks at The General Roberts pub first (and Finance's drinks at work before that). I tried to slope off into the darkness at one point (claiming wibbleyness) but was dragged back into the fun; and I'm so glad they did pull me back! It was a great evening! :D

Today, after recovering from the Sangria/JD/Blonde beer of last night, I did some shopping with my voucher and performed a trial-pack of my bags for Wednesday's flight to Brisbane :D

* Bad Greg was late for his own cake combined with Carla's birthday cake. (Bad Greg is bad :/)

Lunchtime BBQs

2008-04-03T20:30:00.004+11:00

Today we had a BBQ in the park at the top of Pyrmont for lunch. Huzzar I ate all the pies and now will never eat again! :)

Update 2008-04-05: Contrary to my earlier posting, I did indeed have to eat something later. The BBQ was grand (albeit rather windy), and I wish we'd had a fair few of them over the past six months.

Almost but not quite

2008-04-02T17:52:00.023+11:00

There are far fewer than Seven days to go before work ends. In fact, my last day is on Friday! Tomorrow we're all off to have a BBQ in the park for lunch and I hope that Friday will be filled with w00t.

Next week, I fly out to Brisbane and from there, internettles are sporadic, so updates will follow suit.

Yesterday, I learnt about the four conditionals of English grammar from the BBC World Service's "Grammar Challenge" Podcast.

Probability of event	Conditional	Example	Time of Event
100%	zero conditional	If you heat ice, it melts.	any time
50%	first conditional	If it rains, I will stay at home.	future
10%	second conditional	If I won the lottery, I would buy a car.	future
0%	third conditional	If I had won the lottery, I would have bought a car.	past

(Table from www.englishclub.com)

To the bar™!

Book Review #4

2008-03-31T20:16:00.022+11:00

Fight Club (Chuck Palahniuk)
First of all, if you haven’t seen the film because of the media hysteria that surrounded it, rent it, buy it, borrow it and watch it. Contrary to the reports at the time, it doesn’t glorify violence (much), but rather charts the decent of a man into (and through) madness... and it made the cinematic Twist popular again.

So, as you can tell, I liked the film. The soundtrack was cool, and I didn’t anticipate the ending*. But anyway, I digress. Back to the review. Oh, it hasn’t started yet. OK, here goes:

Fight Club (Chuck Palahniuk)
This is without doubt the darkest book I have ever read. I picked it up on a whim in A&R, partly out of frustration at not having anything to read. I’m glad I chose it.

Neil Gaiman’s wares are fluffy and sugary by comparison (and I still remember the chill running down my spine as I read his “Fragile Things”). Palahalanlanikie’s book is... dirty too. Far more so than the film. The reader is drawn into the bleak, meaningless life of the protagonists; their empty existence in a world which to them doesn’t care or love them. Just like the film, a lot of it is unbelievable, but Palandromuk’s narrative mix of darkness and sporadic humour kept me hooked^†. It’s not a long book, but I polished it off in a week — Indeed, my index finger was red raw from the speed at which I read it :P

Compared to this book, the film was slightly Disneyfied. The book’s violence and desolateness were ramped down and the relationship between the two characters was played down too. Other than this, the film mostly followed the plot of the book quite diligently, albeit slightly out of order.

A good book, but not to be read by the faint-hearted or easily offended. I enjoyed reading it, but I felt it was missing something. There was lots of substance, but not much soul — although that may well be the point the author was trying to make. Score: B+

*Knowing the ending spoilt the book somewhat, so no, don’t read the film until you’ve seen the book.
† His writing style is heavily colloquial and at times a torrent of conversation with minimal guidance for the reader. I had to banish my inner pedant whilst reading it. He enjoyed the holiday!

“Hogwarts for Pikeys”

2008-03-29T00:00:00.014+11:00

I’ve just seen the newly-released-to-Australia St Trinian’s film. Drawn as I was to supporting English cinema, it wasn’t the cinematic event of the year. However, it did make me giggle :)

Interestingly, I found the moments of high hilarity (ie: comedic moments of widdlesome proportions) weren't always shared with my Australian audience. Likewise, they laughed at things that just weren’t funny. It’s weird being the only one laughing at something that is guaranteed humorous back home.

Perhaps it was down to the clever writing, perhaps it was the sweet release of English Humour that I crave (and find in short supply), or maybe it was the copious amount of Red Bull I drank before the trailers, yet I thought it was definitely worth the trip across town* :)

The only major complaint I have – other than at the end, someone who looks dangerously like Peter Mandelson has a bit-part – is that it can’t decide which sort of film to be. Part of the time it’s a children’s film with subtle adult humour to keep the parents happy. Other times it’s more adult, then veers off to Mission Impossible! Whether originally intended as a children’s or older, the Australians gave it a certificate “M”…

On the way home, I fell into a rowdy bus of Americans, playing a variant of Cheddar Gorge but to a series of tappings and slappings. CraZy! Don't they know the rules?

*Double points awarded to Russell Brand’s character’s attempts at playing a German (to persuade someone that he was a famous art dealer) that were clearly modelled on Lt Grüber from Allo Allo. Unfortunately, these points were deducted for excessive product placement.

Heading in the right direction

2008-03-27T18:25:00.009+11:00

I made this video to demonstrate just how amazing Australian transport is!

I filmed it a while back (when I visited Emu Plains), and have only just found it nestled in my PC :) I still have no 'proper' camera, as my Canon Ixus died :( Does anyone have any recommendations? :)

Book underflow error :/

2008-03-24T15:38:00.017+11:00

Help! I have run out of things to read, and the local bookshop has nothing that catches my eye (despite spending an hour and a half in there). All suggestions gratefully accepted :)

Mystic Greg's Premonition
Greg's prediction: E-Books will become popular within three hardware generations of the current/gaggle/of contenders, presuming that functionality improves* and sensible (open?) standards are used. But if anyone wants to get me one now, I won't say no! :D

*Greg wants them to let him read Word/PDF/Plucker/Txt/RTF/PPT documents without paying a conversion fee (Amazon, I'm talking to you!), render HTML and let me download RSS feeds without a fee too (greedy Amazon!!!). Perhaps the Asus could take the work they've done with their Eee PC, change the UI to be more static, swap the screen, turn it into a tablet and Bob's yer' uncle! Is it too much to ask? :P

Book Review #3

2008-03-24T11:38:00.009+11:00

Another in the occasional series covering the words between covers...

Musicophillia (Oliver Sacks)
I was drawn to the cover of this book some time ago, but didn't get around to buying it. I stumbled upon it once more in a little shop in Crows Nest and out of boredom, bought it as something to further my rather lacklustre musical abilities interests.

You should never judge a book by its cover, and whilst I enjoyed it, the happy-go-lucky typographic joy on the front did not match the heavy prose within. Written in the form of a university dissertation, it discusses the author's research into how music affects the brain, both good and bad. It is filled with heart-warming and saddening case stories of patients he has met, as well as some amusing side-notes on his own personal experiences with music. (One footnote tells of how "Like many medical students in the '60s, I was surviving on large doses of amphetamines and discovered a marked change in my perception of music".) It was these amusing musical anecdotes that kept me hooked through the slower sections of this thick romp through conditions from Alzheimer's to Williams' syndrome (I don't think he covered anything beginning with X, Y or Z, but definitely everything in-between A and W!).

As mentioned, it was a heavy read; both my brain and my index finger were weary after finishing it. Well worth a read, if you want to know just how strongly music affects us all.

Rupert's Adventures in China: How Murdoch lost a fortune and found a wife (Bruce Dover)
Comprising two subjects that are hard to find a balanced and unbiased viewpoint on, Bruce Dover (an ex-News Corp executive) introduces Murdoch to the reader in what appears to be a fairly frank way. He is praised for his successes and his failures are fully documented. It was a pleasant read (although compared to Musicophilia which I had read previously, anything would be an easy read) and the author's style is engaging; I managed to finish it within a week.

The author also paints a fairly frank picture of the Chinese government and its myriad departments and factions. Not knowing that much about the inner workings of Murdoch or the Chinese government, I can't say how true his recollections are, however for the most part, he manages to avoid bitterness towards Murdoch (who fired him) and the Chinese who thwarted his attempts at entry into the lucrative domestic satellite TV market; in 99% of the book, he remains up-beat about Murdoch and summarises the goings on of the government with a level of abstraction.

Worth a read, if only so that you can argue about its findings :)

Proposed Shotgun Rules 2008 Rev1.0

2008-03-24T00:34:00.016+11:00

The last official release of the Shotgun Rules for The Glorious Collective (UK Regulatory Body) were published roughly this time last year. The shotgunning landscape has changed significantly over the past twelve months, and so the rules must be adjusted accordingly. With the recent introduction of the Webingnet, we can now disseminate documents to the wider populace; indeed, beyond Buckinghamshire. Should these updated rules be passed by the Opulent Council of the Denham Roundabout, they will come into affect as of 30th March 2008 0000GMT.

(The following is based on the myriad rules of Shotgun on the internet from a few years back, re-written and amended over time with a vague hint of grammar and the addition of appropriate Collective bylaws).

Please take note of rules 1.1 and 2.4.

1. VALID CALLS (IMPLICIT, EXPLICIT AND TACIT)
1.1. Both the the Shotgunner and Driver must be in clear sight of the car.
1.2. If you are the first to be picked up on a journey, you are automatically given shotgun until you violate the other shotgun laws and thus, forfeit your position.
1.3. The driver must clearly hear the Shotgun call.

2. INVALID CALLS
2.1. You cannot declare shotgun if someone has previously declared shotgun for that journey.
2.2. Shotgun cannot be called whilst inside a building (unless the caller(s) and driver are in a multi storey or underground car park)
2.3. Shotgun cannot be called in advance, only whilst on the way to the car for the journey.
2.4. The PENALTY for invalid calling is the forfeiting of all and any shotgun rights for the journey. Repeat offenders may be banned for longer periods at the Driver's discression.
2.5. Any caller who successfully gains Shotgun must not move away from the car. Moving away from the car after receiving Shotgun is classed as an INVALID CALL.
2.6. If Shotgun has already been called: If the driver gets in and reaches over to unlock the shotgun door and the chosen Shotgun opens it before its actually unlocked..(this happens when the driver is still trying to unlock it and person pulls on handle) they have to give up there rights as Shotgun, having just comited Shotgun suicide.

3. BOUNDARY-CASE CALLS AND CALLS OF CONTENTION
3.1. When simultaneous shotgun is called:
3.1.a. If ALL the callers are more than one car length from the vehicle, there is then a foot race to the passenger side door from the all the people who called.
3.1.b. IF ANY or NONE of the callers are within a car-length from the vehicle, an adudicated round (or three rounds) of Paper/Scisors/Stone will be held.
3.2. In the occurrence of more than one pirate then a sword fight shall determine the successful Shotgunner.

4. ALLOCATION OF THE REMAINING SEATS
4.1. Once shotgun has been called, then back left and back right can be called, thus leaving the fifth person who is travelling in the middle (or the "bitch" seat)
4.2. (Collective Corrigenda) The LAST person to call "I aint' no bitch" has to sit in the bitch seat if no other seat is available.
4.3. The claim/disclaim of the remaining seats can ONLY be made after a Shotgun call has been made. (The Shotgun does not have to be confirmed.)
4.3.a. Failure to adhere to this rule will be classed as an INVALID CALL. The caller forfeits any claims to a specific requested/unwanted seat.

5. SPECIFIC EXCEPTIONS (MOST IMPORTANT FIRST)
5.1. In the instance that the normal driver of a vehicle is drunk or otherwise unable to perform their duties as driver, then he/she is automatically given Shotgun.
5.2. The Pirate Rule - If One of the potential occupants of the vehicle is dressed (convincingly) as a pirate then they are given automatic shotgun. [Refer to rule 3.2.]
5.3. Automatic "Couple's Rights act 1997". If the driver is the boyfriend/girlfriend of a passenger in the car, the said passenger has the right to the seat of their choice.

6. DRIVER AUTHORITY AND ROLE
6.1. All decisions by the Driver are final. Anyone who disagrees with his/her decision has committed an INVALID CALL.
6.2. The Driver can choose (at their disgression) a "Designated Drunk", who will accept all offers of alcohol (toasts, free drinks etc) that the driver receives and cannot accept.
6.3. The Driver has ultimate control of radio/cd player/etc. and cabin temperature. However, the Driver can delegate control to the Shotgun.

7. SHOTGUN AUTHORITY AND ROLE
7.1. All navigational functions required by the driver must be performed by the Shotgunner.
7.2. The Shotgunner must shout "TETSUO!!!" to the Driver's call of "AKIRA!!!".
7.3. The Shotgunner must graciously accept control of radio/cd player/etc and/or control of cabin temperature.
7.3.a. The Shotgunner must graciously relinquish control of the above, at the driver's request.
7.3.b. If the Shotgun plays (or allows to play by tacit acceptance) any song by Take That, the Shotgunner will be automatically demoted to the Bitch seat.
7.4. The Shotgunner is expected to control unruly behaviour by passengers in the rear.
7.5. Holding Shotgun position gives no right whatsoever to correct the driver on their navigation skills ("Take a left here you dickhead!") or driving ability ("I'd be in third gear if I was driving") if the Shotgun does this, they forfeit their position as Shotgun.
20. The Shotgunner assumes the responsibility for all gate opening, off licence nipping into, takeaway ordering and question asking. He/she is, in essence the co-pilot and therefore the enforcer of behaviour in the vehicle and exacter of slaps/punches/bitchslaps/hissyfitting at the passengers in the back.

8. CLARIFICATIONS
8.1. ALL callers and potential callers are equal (with the exceptions described in the SPECIFIC EXCEPTIONS section).
8.2. Shotgun overrules Dibs, Baggsy's and and other girly calls!
8.3. If someone says "What's shotgun?" after it has been called then they have to walk.
8.4. When riding in a 2/3 door car it is the role of the Shotgun Rider to allow rear passengers in and out of the back of the car NOT the Driver's.

Royal National Park

2008-03-21T20:04:00.003+11:00

Today I visited the Royal National Park, 30km south of Sydney. Oooo meh feet! I've walked miles & miles... then, realising that my destination (that I had planned so carefully back at the apartment) was in the middle of nowhere, with no buses to get back to civilisation, I had to walk miles & miles more :/

Started at Waterfall, walked to Uloola Falls, then to Audley, where I bought a lolly. Then walked up Honeymoon Track to Loftus, where I discovered a deserted and overgrown railway station (both cool, and "Bugger, how am I to get home?"), then walked along the hard shoulder of the Princes Highway until I fell into Sutherland.

Lovely place tho'. Barely saw anyone all day, apart from at Audley (did I mention I bought a lolly?). Photos to arrive on Flickr shortly :)

Having a day off too many!

2008-03-19T14:41:00.036+11:00

Following agile processes and techniques, I had a bit of free time, so refactored the previous post into LOLCode, which meets my needs of indentation, and as such is a far superior solution.

HAI
GIMMEH Fudz IN MAH BUKKET R YARNs "Spaghetti bolognese" AN "Stirfrii" AN "Sossidges un Beenz" AN "StakeunChips" DEN "Mixd beenz an rice stuff"
I HAZ A lengf, ITZ HAWLONG IZ Fudz?
I HAZ A spagycount ITZ NUN
I HAZ A sturfrii ITZ NUN
IM IN YR LOOP
   IZ spagycount EQWAL TO WUN?
   YARLY
      NOM Spaghetti Bolognese
      spagycount IZ NOW NUN!
      GO BAX!
   KTHX
   IZ sturfrii EQWAL TO WUN?
   YARLY
      NOM Sturfrii
      sturfrii IS NOW NUN!
      GO BAX!
   KTHX
   I HAZ A meel ITZ IN MAH BUKKET OF Fudz AT RANDUM!
   NOM meel
   meel WTF?
      OMG Spaghetti Bolognese!
         UP spagycount, GTFO!
      OMG Stirfrii!
         UP sturfrii, GTFO!
      OMG WTF?
         GTFO!
   IZ MAH SANITY SMALR THAN NUN?
   YARLY
      GTFO AN GET CHEEZBURGR!
   KTHX
IM OUTA YR LOOP
KTHXBYE

As before, points will be awarded for explaining the two special cases :) Will there be an MHEG-5 version? Alas no, it breaks my heart to think of it.

Basic eating

2008-03-18T17:33:00.033+11:00

Here's a quick summary of my eating habits at the moment....

10 DIM meals = ( "Spaghetti bolognese", "Stir-fry", ↷
"Sossidges & Beans", "Steak & Chips", ↷
"Mixed Bean & Rice thing" )
15 length = LEN(meals)
17 spagCnt = 0
19 sfCnt = 0
20 DO
30 IF spagCnt = 1
40 GOSUB cook("Spaghetti bolognese")
50 spagCnt = 0
55 GOTO 20
60 END IF
70 IF sfCnt = 1
80 GOSUB cook("Stir-fry")
90 sfCnt = 0
100 GOTO 20
110 END IF
120 meal$ = meals(INT(length * RND) + 1)
125 GOSUB cook(meal$)
130 IF meal$ = "Spaghetti bolognese"
140 spagCnt = 1
150 END IF
160 IF meal$ = "Stir-fry"
170 sfCnt = 1
180 END IF
190 UNTIL (Sanity < 0)
200 GOTO TAKEOUT!

Points awarded for explaining the reason for the two special cases :)

Yes, I have way too much time on my hands and am quite possibly losing my mind.

Two things I have discovered from doing this are:

Blogger's editor is 4TS and fudges things up if you try to do clever things in the "Edit Html" section first.

The one thing I really missed when writing this was the Indentation. Please find your nearest programmer, inspect his/her code and if you find it wanting in indentation, head-slap them.
Repeatedly.
Until.
They.
Learn.
GOTO head-slap.

I ♥ Sydney

2008-03-16T18:44:00.008+11:00

Since finally knuckling down and booking my flights out of Sydney, I've come to the startling conclusion that I'm in love with the city, and almost don't want to leave.

I've spent a long time pondering what it is about it that I adore. Perhaps too much time. What has made this love even more confusing is that Sydneysiders are a cliquey bunch at the best of times; settling in has proved problematic. Coupled with my turbulent flatshare, there is very little reason for me to love it.

But love it, I do, and after much pondering, here - in no particular order - are my reasons why you should love it too... :D

Communal BBQs are in most outlying parks. Got a sossidge to cook? Stick a coin or two into the BBQ and get a-grilling. - But that's not the main reason why I love Sydney.
Go home on a Ferry, past the opera house and under the bridge, to Luna park or trendy Balmain. - Nor this.
Live in a city with more green than you care to consider. There are parks, reserves and leafy walkways everywhere. - Not this.
Enjoy civic events almost every other week. Noodles in the park, Australia day, Christmas BBQs and of course, NYE are just for starters.

No, it's the people that make the city so wonderful for me. Even though they stick to their own small groups, they're almost all professionals at chilling out and living The Australian Dream. It took a while for me to realise that this was the main reason for my love of Sydney. And it's surprising, as I've not been able to sidle my way into their groups.

I came to this conclusion earlier today, and have spend the rest of the day thinking about how best to describe them. The best I can come up with is that Sydneysiders are from Pleasantville.

Perhaps it's Australia's distance from the rest of the world. By this, I refer to both the physical sense and the lack of participation on the world stage; TV and newspapers seem to find "big" news hard to find locally, so often turn to the UK and US for their juicy stories. This gives a certain sense of remoteness from the foreign misery and darkness that Sydneysiders hear of. As such, the locals are an honest, open, innocent bunch, lacking the hard cynicism of Londoners (myself included). And this is what I love.

Generic Unspecified Post #1

2008-03-12T19:17:00.006+11:00

Here's a quick roundup of goings on here in Sydney:

Met up with Rene (of Beeb fame) for a grand lunch at the Star City Casino (opposite work). Was great to catch up and she looked as well as ever.
Inspected Paddington Market. Deemed it good, despite it not selling much that I would want (Beads, arty things, bracelets, necklaces etc)... well, maybe the necklaces caught my eye :P Discovered a Wagamamas nearby.
Went back to my local Wagamamas after a 1 month hiatus. The girl recognised me and ordered my usual before I had sat down!
Have been accused of being weird by my boss on 3 separate occasions since I last mentioned it in this blog. On the plus side, the head of IT Networks was sad to hear of my departure, saying that I was the only one that knew what was going on. This cheered me up no end, as I was feeling rather glum.
Ah yes... I leave work on 4th April, ready for pastures new.
Handed my one month's notice to my landlady. I fly out on 9th April to glorious Brissy, where I shall be residing in the finest YHA in the city.
My camera is broken; a bit of plastic on the SD card snapped off inside it. No photos on flickr until I can get it to a shop to be repaired.
Last but not least, I am now the proud owner of a travel towel.

From Work to the Apartment (vol 1)

2008-03-07T10:06:00.005+11:00

Here's a video of my journey from Pyrmont Bay to McMahnon's Point. Sit back, relax and let the ferry take you on a magical journey.

Thunderous Music

2008-02-26T18:36:00.007+11:00

A day of monotonous document writing, waking up late as the alarm fails, back-of-the-mind stress of moving on from my base.

All this and more wiped clean as I walk up and over the hills of Wollstonecraft back to my apartment. The sunshine gives way to enraged storm clouds as the cityscape comes into view between the trees. Rain starts to fall. Heavy, ominous rain. Rain with the promise of far more to come. 100% humidity and the landscape darkening, thunder crashes around me beyond the avenue of trees that roll into the distance. I love being out in thunderstorms. I don't mind the rain and, for once, I feel alive. The sky darkens more, crashes follow crashes as I continue my homeward journey. Enraged, the storm surrounds me. On my music player, Placibo's Pure Morning cues up, the pent-up potential of the bass drone perfectly matching the sky's rage and promise around me. The thunderclaps and rolls augment and enhance the mood, as I arrive at the apartment, chilled and calm once more.

MonsterRail/Potatoes

2008-02-16T18:58:00.005+11:00

Saturday mornings are generally quiet affairs. I've fallen into the habit returning to WakeUp in Central for:

1x Fruit Salad (sans yoghurt)
1x Slice of Banana Bread
1x Danish (of varied variety)
1x Long Black (cwoffee)

They know me by name there, even if they insist on re-naming me Dave*. I sit watching the world go by, reading my book and generally making this large breakfast last a couple of hours.

Today - with this ritual completed - I headed up Pitt Street for a bit of a mooch. I came across Allan's Music Store, which had an upstairs room completely chocked with pianos, Clavii, Rolands and the such. I managed to spend a good half an hour in there, abusing the equipment before I was asked if I wanted to buy anything :) It's always pleasing to see just how keen Australians are for learning to play instruments. Every reasonably sized town seems to have a music shop, and everywhere you go, you see people busking with all flavours of instrument.

I then took a trip on the MonsterRain (ok, ok, Monorail) and saw the city from a whole new angle. It reminded me of the El in Chicago, minus the precarious wooden platforms :)

In an attempt to speed up saving enough to go travelling, I decided to cut back on eating out this week and to live like a student. Jacket Potatoes all round! Alas, whilst leaving Coles supermarket, I realised that I had just played out an episode of It's Grim Up North London :/ - in my bag were:

2x studentesque potatoes
2x studentesque baked beans
1x Packet of "Bush Tomato" Goats Cheese

* The girl at Gloria Jean's Coffee shop in Crows** Nest calls me John :(
** Yes, there's no apostrophe, just like Earls Court*** :P
*** Unless you are referring to Earl's Court tube station, which for some reason has one.

2008, two thousand and great?

2008-01-10T13:06:00.000+11:00

Happy belated new year!

With Mr Paul now safely back in the UK, things in Australia return once more to quietness. :/

Last week at work, I geeked out by writing some code to take addresses of our 3,000-odd wannabe testers and place them on Google Earth, so that our head of testing could decide which people to choose, based in part on location. Apart from that, it has been ominously quiet at work, however I have managed to blag a tour of the News Centre in the CBD. I'll report back :)

Christmas & New Year

2008-01-01T18:49:00.000+11:00

Ho Ho Ho and Happy New Year too!

Mr Paul has popped over from the UK to ensure that I keep out of mischief over the Christmas period. It has been a craZy couple of weeks with much Wagamama'ing, loafing about and exploring Sydney.

On Christmas day, we went on the Harbour Bridge Climb - a three hour ascent to the summit of the Sydney Harbour Bridge. We were lucky to go on a climb with only three other people. For safety reasons, we couldn't take cameras up (lest they fell on the cars, trains and people below) but we received a cheesy snap at the top, taken by the guide. (Photo to be scanned in later :D)

Afterwards, we took the train back to Wollstonecraft and had a Christmas BBQ!

Mum & Dad bought me a book (currently ½ way through), a windup torch and a Meccano plane, which I'm about to build now :) Mr P bought me a huge tub of Marmite (over half a litre!). Sonya, my flatmate gave me an Aussie Factbook :D

On New Year's eve, we went to the Royal Botanic Gardens (overlooking the bridge and opera house). We shared a table with a couple from outside Birmingham. The chap was a software developer of sorts* and his missus was a legal secretary. I took great pleasure asking about her HIPS.

Having drunk a bottle of red, I managed to plant Paul's camera in mashed potato - Sorry, Paul! - and then happily accepted the advances of a rather drunken Aussie girl from Wooloomooloo. Having graciously received a New Year's kiss, I came to the conclusion that the poor girl was even more drunk than I was, so I helped her find her friends as the wardens tried to end the event and guide everyone out of the park.

As for the fireworks, they were amazing! The whole sky lit up, even the skyscrapers had fireworks on, looking like chubby gargantuan roman candles.

Today (New Year's Day), I'm recovering by sleeping, eating lovely stodgy food and promising never to drink again.

* He worked with Visual Basic, but given the celebratory nature of the event, I didn't taunt :P

Policemen walking my dog on a train

2007-12-15T22:00:00.000+11:00

Today I'm pleased to report that attempt #3 of visiting Newcastle (the nearest industrial town, a 3 hour train ride north of Sydney) was a success! Photos to follow :)

The train was busy, so I lurked in the end compartment of one of the carriages, absentmindedly trying to learn to yoyo (see prior post).

My mind was dagger-sharp, focused on honing my soon-to-be l33t yoyoing sk1llz. Up and down, down and up it went, slowly bending to my will. As Sydney faded into memory and the long stretch of rural stations beckoned, man and machine became one.

Looking up from my dedicated training, I stare straight at two tough-looking State Transit Police (a 30-something man and woman) who had wandered into the compartment whilst my attention was focussed on the work at hand. Somewhat shocked, I blubbered something and we got chatting. After a few minutes, we spun onto the heady topic of yoyos. The policeman said that I was doing it all wrong, and sensing his yoyo-envy, I offered the object of my previous attentions to him. Sheepishly at first*, yet joyfully he performed a demonstration.

The highlight? After I swore never to teach it, he demonstrated the unspoken dark arts of police yoyo training known as 'tayoyo diabolique' (Yoyos were originally Filipino weapons). I pity the Perp that tries to get away from cops trained in such a barbaric skill using something that - up until I handed it over - had seemed so innocuous.

They both left the train at the next station and I continued my journey pleasantly bemused at what had happened.

NB: One paragraph may be big fat lies. I leave it to the reader's discretion to decide which.

* He persuaded his slightly disbelieving partner to stand guard on the door to the main compartment to stop anyone seeing him do it!

Christmas Party and the such

2007-12-15T21:51:00.000+11:00

Well, it's been a while posting on here. I'd like to say that I've been too busy doing stuff, but the honest answer is that not much of note has happened these past weeks... apart from:

The office Christmas party took place in the Star City Casino's penthouse function room. With views across the city, we drank more beer than I care to remember and ate miniature meat pies and huge hunks of chicken and pork - the Australian's know how to eat at official functions; no yukky fancy nibbles here :D

Carla, our almost-team-assistant organised the Children's party. Afterwards she had some goodie bags left over, of which I received:

1x camouflage* "Lost" beach windbreaker
1x Yoyo

I've never yoyo'd before, so I asked my boss to teach me in return for teaching him rude signs in BSL :P

* Why would you ever make something on a beach camouflaged green?

Book Reviews #2

2007-12-02T18:24:00.000+11:00

Another in the occasional series. This time, two in one!

Captain Corelli's Mandolin

I'd heard a snatched few minutes of Captain Corelli's Mandolin on Radio 4 back home and and enjoyed the dry humour although didn't know at the time what I was listening to.

Discovering the book here (76^th place in the Australian Best Read 2007), I only bought it to make up a Buy Three for Two offer. As such, it sat on a pile for some time before being read.

CCM is a story of love and a story of war. I've never laughed and cried so much at a book before; it has rekindled my joy of reading. The writing is sharp and witty, pulling you into a story so complex yet complete that you feel part of it. My only complaint is that I had some very late nights reading it, to ensure that I read beyond the bloody war-based sections and onto the more light-hearted sections focusing on the main characters so I didn't dream of a wartime so horrifically described! If only all books were so impassioned. When I reached the end, there was a lump in my throat and both sadness & happiness combined.

Apparently there was a film made about it. I've not seen it, but I can't imagine that it compares favourably with the book.

In summary, it was absolutely wonderful - I can't recommend it enough!

The Eyre Affair

I can't really give this book the credit it deserves; having read Captain Corelli's Mandolin just before, very little compares.

However the Eyre Affair is an easy read, one where your brain can be switched to standby for the most part. Some clever alternate universe stuff, but with minimal character buildup and a very er, spritely wound-down ending.

Good news!

2007-11-26T19:48:00.000+11:00

The bruises have gone! :P

Political Cuckoo

2007-11-25T10:45:00.000+11:00

Yesterday was election day here in Australia. The incumbent Liberal party were knocked out of power by the ALP (Australian Labor Party).

The seat of North Sydney (where I currently reside) remained Liberal; The sitting member, Joe Hockey looking rather nervous on Channel 7 as his role as political pundit forced him to be both happy that he had kept his seat, and sombre as his party failed to reach the 76 seats required to stay in power whilst his leader (John Howard) lost his seat to Labor.

I've tried to remain non-partisan in this election; I've spoken to anyone I can find over the course of the last few weeks who has a view on the parties, and I've tried to learn about the important political issues: Coal vs Nuclear, Industrial Relations (IR) laws, "Working Choices" etc.

Last night, I grew tired of watching the election coverage* and went for a walk. I came across a Chanel 9 OB truck and went closer to investigate. The local Labor candidate was having a party in a restaurant.

Now, I hadn't had my dinner, and I was in the mood for some mischief.

Using what little Australian political knowledge I had gleaned, combined with my social engineering skills, I blagged my way in and, like all good parasites, ate their food and drank their beer. Whilst politely smiling to blend in, I was shocked by just how militant they were - incredibly pro-unions and very much socialist. There's no such thing as a free lunch, and whilst my belly was full, I had to endure them ranting to each other.

When Howard gave his farewell speech (which was gracious and polite to both his party and the newly elected government), the activists booed and hissed; I was glad to escape!

Still, it was an amusing evening. Nothing beats a good bit of gatecrashing, especially when there's free food and drink :D

If The ALP holds the same views all the way to the top of their party, I feel sorry for the Australians. It's likely to be a turbulent few years :/

*Election coverage was, well, interesting. The owner of the apartment was watching a certain channel that shall remain nameless. Said channel's corporate brand is red, and rather than doing the sensible thing of going for a neutral colour, their red status update DOGs were misleading and confusing, as to the casual observer, the whole election revolved around Labor.
I would rant about the awful sound quality, but then that wouldn't give me time to complain about the use of the somewhat dizzy breakfast show presenters to lead the show :/ - Can you imagine Ant & Dec leading Newsnight?!

Blue Mountains attempt #2

2007-11-18T12:02:00.000+11:00

Yesterday, I made attempt #2 to scale the Blue Mountains to the west of Sydney. The sun was shining, the birds were singing and the lizards were lazing on rocks. Arriving at Lawson railway station, I follow the signs to the local nature reserve.

Climbing through the undergrowth, through tracks that were so overgrown as to be unregognisable in places, I feel a sense of calm come over me as all my cares drift away into the forest.

Presently, I discovered a tall, beautiful waterfall. In two parts, the water fell from fifty metres up onto a plateau then dropped a final ten metres. The track led down to it, so I approached, camera in hand.

Mr Brutch, my militant A-level geography teacher taught me many things* about waterfalls; how they retreat over the years, how the constant patter of water on the rocks below leads to changes in shape and the sorts of creatures that revel in the pools.

One thing he didn't teach me was that the constant patter of water on the rocks below leads to very slippery rocks. The tranquil calm of the forest momentarily held its breath as a bellow of 'ArrrrgFUDDDDGE!' rang out and echoed off the valley walls.

Down I went onto the thin layer of sludge that covered the rocks next to the waterfall. Alas there I was not to end, as my friction co-efficient remained low and I slid down the rocks and into the crystal clear waters of the waterfall's pool. A Timotei moment it was not. Think more along the lines of Indian Jones falling down a jungle chute.

Thankfully I managed to scramble out of the pool with only my pride damaged. I made my way back to the train station. Once on the 2.5hr train journey back, I sat there as quietly as I could reading my book. Even so, I suspect that I deafened the entire carriage with the malodorous cacophony of the primordial ooze what covered my back and behind.

This morning, it turns out that it wasn't only my pride that was damaged; I have a pleasantly purple and black posterior too :/

Don't go chasing waterfalls!

* well, not strictly true as I only received a 'D' for A-level geography

360° Blogging - Your chance to influence me! (Well, this blog)

2007-11-12T21:28:00.000+11:00

Well, I've rattled on for 50 or so entries. As 50 is a nice round number, it seems appropriate to celebrate by turning the tables.

Is there anything you think I've missed?
Do you have unanswered questions?

If so, post a comment and I'll do my best to answer every one that I am legally allowed to do. The only rule is please don't anon-o-post :)

Greg

Sunday: Marches, Sign Language, Cinema

2007-11-11T21:53:00.000+11:00

Today I decided to explore the eastern side of central Sydney. Up until today, I've mostly spent my time on the George Street side of town.

I made my way to Elisabeth Street to discover that the side-roads were all blocked off. It turned out that today was an Environmental March day. As I didn't have much planned until the cinema in the evening, I waited for the march to arrive near a set of bus stops.

Signing Kerfuffles
After a few minutes, some people wandered past having been ushered around the corner to where the buses were re-routed. A deaf chap, presuming I wanted a bus pointed to the corner.
When I signed back the reply "Thanks, but I'm waiting for the crowd*" he was somewhat taken aback.

Asking if I was deaf, I signed "No, I'm British", which made him laugh, although it turns out that the sign I know for "British" actually means in a universal context "The country that I live in and we are in", thus he thought I was Australian until I replaced "British" with "English".

He then started ranting about how an environmental march would do no good, as it was "Vengence from above" (this took some sign-based explaining, as my signing skills are as rusty as errr, something very rusty left out in the rain). After that, he went into what appeared to be a rambling political rant (again, my signing wasn't up to following everything he said, but I got the key-words)

Now, don't get me wrong; I'm all for sensible political debate. However. He was clearly quite mad. At this point, I signed a thank-you goodbye and made my quick escape! I can now confirm that Auslan is very similar to BSL.

The March
Once I'd escaped the ranting, I waited for the march to arrive, so that I could take some photos. First a motorcade of police came past. They gave me rather dirty looks. It was only then that I remembered I'd thrown on my greenish Peace/War logo t-shirt at random this morning. Then the marchers wandered past, who also gave me dirty looks. This they stopped when I hid my nice red Starbucks cup in my bag. After that, they were happy for me to snap away. It's at times like this I could have done with my Canon350D, using its professional shape to bluff my way into asking the marchers probing questions.

Cinema
After a while, I grew bored of watching the marchers file past, so made my way to the cinema. Originally intending to watch Underdog, I chose instead Day Watch, which turned out to be:
a) Russian with endearing subtitles,
b) filled with vampires, blood and gore; and
c) very good.

If you get a chance to see it, do! It's a pleasant change from the clean Hollywood "Vampire/Good/Evil" genre; the Russians really know how to make something dark yet with comic undetones - Even the bodyswap halfway through was at the same time funnier than LiLo & Jamie Lee Curtis in Freaky Friday, and as black as the darkest night. Lots I didn't fully follow, as I haven't seen the first film (Night Watch), yet it kept me enthralled throughout.

* I didn't know the sign for "march", but "crowd" seemed to do the trick.

Taronga Zoo & Balmoral

2007-11-11T21:10:00.000+11:00

Saturday, I visited Taronga zoo (photos to follow on Flickr). Looking at the map, it seemed a reasonable walk. Combine that with the overcast weather that we've had for the past week, and it seemed perfectly fine to walk it. Waking up at 11am, Mad dogs and Englishmen made their way out in the midday sun to Taronga. 8km of toastyness later I arrived.

Did I mention that I've never been a big fan of zoos? I always feel rather sorry for the animals kept in cages. The website suggested that Taronga was more of a safari-park (think ex-LegoLand Windsor Safari Park). Alas it wasn't to be. I've not seen a sadder bunch of animals in a long time :/
The only upside was the falconry display, where the birds seemed fit and focused.

Walking back, I stopped at Balmoral Beach, which was lovely and quiet with its own fairly tranquil rocky island. I'll be going back there again :)

The best bar in the world

2007-11-09T23:35:00.000+11:00

I can confirm that I have found the best bar in the world. The rest of you can stop looking, as none can beat it. :P

Wandering into the local bar for a quiet drink, I sit there reading. Half an hour later, A Blues Brothers tribute band kick off* and the party begins.

Then, as if things couldn't be better already, during their interval, they play Kylie and the Aussies go wild!

I shall be returning :D

* A very good likeness, except there's three of them, and John Belushi is a woman, but their music was amazing!

Celebrating the Melbourne Cup

2007-11-06T20:04:00.001+11:00

Today was the Melbourne Cup Horse Race. You think the Grand National is popular? Oh my goodness!

Today, the entire female population of Sydney went to work dressed for the races, with hats, fascinaters* and everything else that goes with such things.

Work had a 3 hour lunch outside on the dockside with champagne (I arrived early and got the task of preparing the such), food and beer. TVs were put against open windows so we could watch the race.

Half way through, the heavens opened!...

Whilst outside, I noticed that a pair of birds had set up nest on one of the horizontal poles of the sail covering, and that you could see the chicks being fed! Awwwww

* Behold! Greg the Fashionista! As some of you know, my long commute into work at the BBC meant that I could read The Metro from cover to cover. As such, my fashion knowledge is second to, er none.

Subliminal Noodles

2007-11-06T19:45:00.000+11:00

Today I realised why I decided to bank with the National Australian Bank. It was all to do with a bold white sanserif, lowercase typestyle with a red star above... :)

Australian Politics

2007-11-04T19:15:00.000+11:00

Political Graffiti

Until I arrived, I'd never paid much attention to Aussie politics, partly because there's enough of it back in the UK to keep me entertained, but mostly because UK news reports Aussie politics with minimal context, merely relaying the facts.

From what I've seen so far, the political scene shares as many similarities as it does differences with the UK. The most striking is the effect that compulsary voting has on politics; the political parties really target everyone, as everyone has to vote. There's no slant towards those who are more likely to vote, as in the UK, as everyone in Australia votes.

From speaking to people here, Howard (current Prime Minister [Lib]) is not popular with the younger generation, who feel he only offers empty promises. There's kerfuffles to do with winding down unions (legislation has been brought in to allow individuals to sign away their legal rights to certain things at work in return for more money... hmmm) The Labor* candidate, Rudd, apparently has more of a younger following and seems to be tending centre/centre right, similar to the current UK Labour government**.

It has been suggested to me that every time there's an election here, there's a terrorist threat or incident - the Bali bombings happened before an election and some other incidents have occured at election times too, pushing Howard back into office on each occasion. How true this is, I don't know :)

Things are starting to ramp up for the general election in a few weeks. I've been given leaflets from all parties, and coffee shops are having "bean polls".

* The word 'labour' is spelt correctly here (ie: with a ewe), but the political party of the same name chooses to remove said beastie.

** Yes, yes, contentious :P

Blue

2007-11-03T22:18:00.000+11:00

Some trees are blue in Sydney.

Becoming Domestic in Australia

2007-11-03T10:01:00.000+11:00

Yesterday, I cooked my first casserole!

Result was good, but I mis-calculated the timings and had to wait until midnight, looking hungrily at the oven :/

Cherry Picking your Boss

2007-10-31T19:54:00.000+11:00

Lunchtime

Yesterday I spent a pleasant lunchtime sitting by the wharf watching from afar a self-propelled cherry-picker being repeatedly driven into a metal pole - as well as the expressions on the faces of the people trying to eat lunch on the balcony supported said pole! The two workmen seemed somewhat confuzzled as to how they'd got themselves stuck, especially as they couldn't get off of the cherry-picker to find out until they'd rounded the corner they were trapped in :P

Contact Kerfuffles

The other day, my boss gave me his business card so I could get his phone number and email. I took the details down, left it on my desk and promptly forgot about it. Boss walks by, sees it and decides to tease me ; "Greg, don't you want my business card?".

I pick up my book, open it up and say "Thank you, but I've already got one", waving the dog-eared LittleWok Japanese restaurant business card that lived within to hold the page. Boss looked hurt and took his card back! :P

Rate My Spider

2007-10-29T22:28:00.000+11:00

Can you match this spider that I found yesterday against the chart? http://www.termitecontrol.com.au/spider-identification-chart.html

Update (31st Oct 07): It has been brought to my attention that the spider presented above only has seven legs. I have carefully reviewed the photo and can confirm this to be the case. Either it is missing one, or is merely hiding it. Do not let this arachnid subtraction dissuade you from the fact that it is a real, official Australian Spider.

Cooking

2007-10-28T22:09:00.000+11:00

Tonight's menu was spaghetti bolognese with rice*, followed by goats' yogurt and honey. Tomorrow for breakfast there will be cereal and crumpets with honey.
*Made oh-so-much of it! error in quantites :/

The Industry

2007-10-28T21:48:00.000+11:00

Australian TV amazes me. Adverts cut into programmes, and programmes have adverts within them. If you know much about EU advertising rules, the following four examples may make you glad you live in the EU:

Breaching the Programme/Advert divide: The other morning, a news presenter said "...and check out this poor guy:" and then showed what started off to be what looked like a comedy sketch. It ended with the chap discovering a cruise line company and smiling away. Afterwards, the news presenter said jokingly 'ahhh and it was only an advert', then carried on reading the news!
Untimely Promotion: Channel-skipping onto a cartoon called 'Polly Pocket' (a vaguely famous brand of doll): Whether this programme would make it onto EU airwaves is questionable enough, but to have adverts inbetween it for Polly Pocket merchandise is surely rather dubious. Certainly in the EU, adverts must not include the work of actors who are in the programmes that wrap around them.
Subliminal messages: Watching the 'Aria' pop music awards this evening, the short stings between each potential pop act winner had strong flashes of KFC (the sponsor), which lingered in my mind for some time.
Advertorials: Watching a breakfast show, the presenter turns to her co-host and says 'Now lets go to Sheryl, who will tell us how to make our lives easier in the garden'. Were you expecting a few minutes of handy gardening hints? I was. I wasn't expecting a five minute QVC style piece to camera about how great a certain lawnmower was. Afterwards, the breakfast show continued as normal.

Thankfully, I have been introduced to 'The Chaser', which is a bit like that Dom Jolly show, but considerably more political and quite quite funny.

Lapus Toppus

2007-10-28T16:27:00.001+11:00

Now that I've moved into a flatshare, I can now think about settling in properly. As such, I invested in a Toshiba laptop and am now internettled properly. The internet is so slow in Australia; and even more so if the information you want isn't in a domestic cache... In the UK, few people care which mirror you use to download software; here, you have to choose wisely. Australia is obviously preferable, but Japan seems a good second best. Surprisingly, the US is rather slow... which is a pain, as Google don't seem to have a domestic cache here... which makes maps.google.com and even google.com.au painfully slow.

Anyway, I could waffle on about the questionable state of Aussie internet all day... the good news is that I received free cinema tickets, so I'm gonna go see something at some point this week :) All suggestions welcome :D

Drunken Flies

2007-10-28T16:21:00.000+11:00

Beer
Friday was one of the chaps from work's leaving do. We went to a nearby pub and began drinking... Oh my goodness can Aussies drink. I think it's because of the little glasses of beer they have, combined with the weather. That and I'd only had two sandwiches all day beforehand! Thankfully one of the friendly techies and his missus drove me home, as it was on their way. I definitely owe them a drink!

Flies
Let me take the opportunity to put the record straight. Yes, there are a few more flies in Sydney than in the UK, but their numbers aren't so bad. The trouble with them is that unlike British flies, these little buggers are persistent. If you swat them, they just duck and skew, then come right back. Even when it's windy, they seem to just hang around your face.

The solution seems to be: If they're just sitting on your clothes, let them be, as they'll just fly up and annoy you; only swat if they're directly annoying you. :)

From the heavens, the rain fell

2007-10-25T15:25:00.001+10:00

I've now moved out of WakeUp! and into my flatshare in Wollstonecraft, a mile or so inland of the north shore of Sydney. I've been shown the shops and after two nights, am slowly settling in.

The weather is as damp as a duck without its raincoat, but my commute is mostly undercover (a 40minute trip in from Wollstonecraft to Pyrmont). Yesterday my boss, project manager and I (in fact that's the whole team) went for a coffee in a cafe along the road. My boss decreed that I was weird ;/ I gave him a hurt look :P

I read with worry about the job losses and sale of TVC back at the Beeb. Concerning times :/

Now I just need to think about what to cook for dinner! :)

House found!

2007-10-21T13:40:00.001+10:00

I think I've found somewhere to stay! (yes, yes, I've said this before :D) It's in Wollstonecraft, just over the Harbour Bridge (15 mins by train to Town Hall station where the Pyrmont express bus leaves). There are two women there, the room is a nice size and the apartment is clean. I've met the owner, who seems pleasantly friendly, albeit very focused on her numerous jobs :)

Tomorrow I shall hopefully meet the other flatmate and sort out the official arrangements.

[phonetic]I've stull gut un awfud cowd.[/phonetic] The sniffles just won't shift. Paracetemol will hopefully come to the rescue, as Aussie Vicks sniffy sticks are considerably stronger than their UK counterparts, leaving my nose on fire! Not gunna stick that up meh nose again!

More Photos, More Houses

2007-10-20T14:22:00.000+10:00

G'day!

Photos are being uploaded to flickr even as I type.

(Edit: Here's the link: http://www.flickr.com/photos/floongle/sets/72157602543875554/ )

Photos include Parramatta and some examples of what I see along the way when I saunter into work. Andrew, I'm sorry, I've not had a chance to take a photo of me performing wheelies/grinds on my scooter :P

Today has been a lazy day of the highest proportions. This'arvo - er, I mean this afternoon - I'm off to see a flatshare in North Sydney. This morning I've tried to find an open Post Office and bank (all closed) then had my hair cut and bought paracetemol to shift this bleh cold.

The internet must be going uphill today, as the photos are still taking a while to get to flickr... in the meantime, here's the shortest video in the world...

Greg's Book Review #1

2007-10-20T10:29:00.000+10:00

An occasional series detailing the findings of Greg in the advancement of paper-based distractions.

Neverwhere (by Neil Gaiman) ˜˜˜˜˜
From the cover and blurb on the back, this is a potential winner. Chosen from Dymock's bookshop because the author co-wrote 'Good Omens' with Terry Pratchett, and said book was a pulp-rendered-masterpiece of stupendous proportions, I had high hopes for Neverwhere.

Set in a "London Below London", poorly described stereotypical Victoriana characters go on an unexplained quest after a young girl's family (known for being able to open portals and doors to anywhere) have been killed. The girl - unoriginally named 'Door' - meets a weedy character from the real London who has accidentally 'fallen through the cracks in society' and continues her quest.

Frankly, some of the collective literature I've had the pleasure to co-write with my friends has more excitement and depth. Clearly Gaiman had a word-count to reach and little time to do it. You could see in his writing the way he progressively added to the story rather than planning it out - a simple progression, where the reader only found out what was coming next just before it did. Even the torture scenes lacked Gaiman's usual dark horror (read his Fragile Things to see him do horror properly). They were almost laugh-out-loudly badly written - how could you be scared of something so dire?

In summary: Bleh.

Regular! / Change of plans

2007-10-20T10:22:00.000+10:00

Regularness leads to happiness
I'm now a regular at the WakeUp! breakfast cafe :D Sauntered down there at 9ish this morning to see a long queue. Patiently waiting for my breakfast, I stood wondering what to do today. Before I knew it, the pair behind the counter had seen me, got my (usual) breakfast of fruit salad, banana bread and cwoffee (black as my heart) ready for me! I felt special. :) :P

Δ of Plans
After serious thoughts, ponderings and considerations, I'm gonna keep looking for a proper flatshare. the SWtE places were fine, but having a bit of personal space is officially 4tW :)

Today's a quiet day with laundry and general mooching. I hope England win the Rugby, as it will mean less teasing by the Aussies, but I don't think we stand a chance! :(

Interim accomodation success!

2007-10-17T19:32:00.000+10:00

Huzzar! I think I've found somewhere to stay in the short term :) Bex recommended sleepingwiththeenemy.com. (thank you, Bex! :D) They called me today and I saw the houses they had on offer. Not the greatest, but reasonably clean, and hopefully quiet... and definitely cheaper than WakeUp! :)

I hope to move in on Friday/Saturday, after which I'll upload some photos. There's free internettles there, but I don't know if my Nintendo DS will be able to connect to it for web browsing etc... Maybe it's time to buy a laptop. Any recommendations?

Greg's cultural faux pas #1

2007-10-17T19:25:00.001+10:00

Well, it was bound to happen. I'm pleased it took over three weeks before it did. It turns out that the British pronunciation of 'Router' (as in broadband modem), where the 'ou' is pronounced as if saying 'oooo!' is dangerously close to the Australian slang 'root', which means, well, I'm sure you can guess. :P Thankfully at work they are forgiving and patient with my odd British ways, so I got away with it... this time :)

I have kept quiet when they refer to engineers as "Ginger Beers", but I chuckle every time!

Flatshares

2007-10-15T21:23:00.001+10:00

*** Wanted ***
* Home required for slightly bewildered software developer.
* Will MHEG for food.
* Can converse with other people, animals and objects on demand!
* Answers to many names, but will respond favourably to "Greg".
* Requires frequent watering with tea.
* House-trained (for the most part), but can tidy up after himself if needs be.
* Will not eat your cheese (may consume berry-based beers).

Can you help house a poor Interactive TV software developer? Fresh from the fields of the BBC, he requires careful nurturing, the occasional cuddle but mostly tea. And maybe internet access.

Now I know how Tim from Spaced (Channel 4, 1999) felt. But I don't even have the big alien bear costume :/

Late night laundry

2007-10-15T19:40:00.001+10:00

It was 11pm. I was in the WakeUp laundry room, er, doing my laundry. In walked a girl wanting to do the same. Got chatting, as you can only do at 11pm; she told me she was from Stoke on Trent and worked for the Conservative party. Then followed a somewhat full and frank 1hr discussion on the state of politics in the UK, Private Eye and what MPs get up to when not in the commons. Interesting enough, but at midnight when our drying had finished, I was wide awake thinking politics and unable to sleep :/ Confuzzlement!

Goths, Parramatta and Rugby

2007-10-14T16:14:00.000+10:00

I discovered a rather large Goth Shoppe yesterday. I commend all Goths in Australasia for a) coping with the heat; and b) keeping such pale completions. I've been slapping on high-factor sun cream and cower indoors... and I'm still turning a pleasant honey colour*.

Thank goodness we won the Rugby again; the Aussies were rather hoping we had lost (photographic proof to follow later).

Took the ferry to Parramatta (as far downstream from Sydney as the ferries/seacats go). I only went along for the ride, so didn't stay there long (about an hour) before heading back. I saw the Olympic village in the distance and generally took in the sights of the 50min trip each way :) It seemed a rather sleepy town, but I did notice a Wagamammas, so it must be a good place to be :)

Yesterday I was filled with grumble at a (possible SA) chap who tried to get my attention in a restaurant by shouting "Oi! Pom! Pom!" Thankfully I was deep in a newspaper, so didn't realise he was talking to me until he gave up... Had I realised, I'd have been less than friendly... I don't mind being called such things - the chaps at work and occasionally at the hostel use the term, and I quite like it - it was the arrogance in the way he jeered it at me that filled me with grrr. :/

No word from the flatshare chap. I shall start looking for another property (as I probably should have been doing anyway).

* Unfortunately my hair is tending to blond, thus resulting in a somewhat contrasting look :P

Lazy Moths

2007-10-13T19:38:00.001+10:00

Today has been a lazy day, which is both good and bad. Good in that there was nothing that needed doing, bad that I probably could have been doing something interesting.

It's times like these when I cast my mind back; back to a week ago, when I first found the Broadway shopping centre. My first view was in the food court, where a group of people were busy signing away. Presuming that they were locals rather than British tourists, Auslan does seem to have close ties with BSL. Obviously not wanting to be rude and listen in to their conversation (plus the fact that my signing is pants), I could only catch the occasional snippets, but the general "shape" of the signing seemed familiar. Maybe I'll try to say hello next week :)

In other news, the moths seem to be departing. Did I mention the moths? Sydney has had a plague of them for the past two weeks. Hundreds of the buggers, most of which are dazed, fattened and confused, keen to fall asleep on your nice warm skin, or maybe on the side of your Ute. But now the numbers are dwindling.

The potential landlord of the flatshare has postponed meeting the other tenant until tomorrow (Sunday). I suspect he's having second thoughts after I asked for an addition to the contract to allow me to give one month's notice after two months there, rather than having to adhere to the full term. So I've extended my stay at WakeUp... again :/

The chatty ex-dorm'er took the train to a farm somewhere today, allowing him to stay an extra year on his Working Holiday Visa (The Aussy government have trouble finding farm labour, so they give incentives such as an extra year's stay for working X-many-weeks on a farm.) Australia's nice, but with all the creepy-crawlies and things that will eat/kill/sting/bite/snuffle you in wilds, it's a big price to pay!

Now, it is time to go to the bar and have something to eat. Another lazy day tomorrow; hopefully will find something useful to do.

Photos Uploaded!

2007-10-12T15:32:00.000+10:00

The first batch of photos can be found here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/floongle/sets/72157602377366230/

:)

Beaches, Banks and Bananas

2007-10-12T11:10:00.000+10:00

Yesterday (Thursday) I had my first proper lay-in since I've been here. 10:30am was a welcome surprise :) I did some banking (NAB sent my ATM card to the wrong address :/) and then mooched around.

Then went on the ferry to Shelly Cove, near Manly beach, where I had a late-afternoon sunbathe and a swim in the sea; I even did a bit of tentative* snorkeling. I was hoping to see some fish; I saw one fish. It was grey. It had the look of a North Sea Cod about it :/ Maybe I chose the wrong time of day :) Sitting on the beach in the late-afternoon reading my book, I only realised how late it was when I wondered why I couldn't read my book in the darkness!

The day before, I visited a share-accommodation apartment which seemed quite nice. I hope to meet the other sharer on Saturday. Based on that, I shall make my decision :)

In other news, I've been watching the level of stuffed toys in the grab-machine at the arcade that I pass by some days. As soon as they refill it, the stuffed penguin shall be mine! :D

In other other news, my half-day on Wednesday went well; lots of Java to read and understand. TiVo uses a suite of widgets called "Bananas". Trying to explain that I wanted to use bananas to my boss led to some confusion; Like the USA, but thankfully slightly less so, we are divided by a common language! :D Discovered that I am an "Australian Resident for Tax Porpoises" which is grand :)

* To get to Shelly Cove, you have to walk past Manly beach. As I wandered past, the lifeguard PA system was telling people to get out of the sea as Blue Jellyfish were coming into shore. The lifeguards at Shelly Cove (1/2 a mile along the coastline) weren't saying the same thing, but I was still somewhat paranoid!

Crazy birds, Taxing Times and Half Days

2007-10-09T18:17:00.000+10:00

I have finally worked out how to describe the noise that the odd black birds (not blackbirds in the British sense, but larger and more crow-like) make. It's an odd sound, but one that was strangely familiar: They sound like a cat mumbling and grumbling at a bird or squirrel through a window*, but much much louder :)

Second day of work seemed to go ok. I feasted on Goats cheese and meat sandwiches, made by my own hand. I hope to live to tell the tale :) Spoke to the Australian Tax Office, who were kind enough to give me my Tax File Number ("TFN" for those in the know) over the phone.

Thankfully my dev PC hasn't arrived, and I can't develop code on the company's desktop, so I'm only working a half-day tomorrow :) W00t!

Lots of luv,

Greg

*If you've never heard a cat do this, I'm afraid I can't help describe it :)

The first full day

2007-10-08T20:56:00.002+10:00

Evenorning all :)

Yesterday I requested a move to a single room in the hostel... not having any time for quiet contemplation was stressing me out somewhat :P Clearly being an only child shows through :D Tonight shall be the first night of calm and quiet for a week. I feel rather rubbish that I only managed a week of shared dormness :/

Today was my first full day at work. The morning was mostly meetings, but the afternoon was spent coding! (Yay!) The first meeting was about what I was expected to be doing... turns out that it's most of the techy work: coding, architecture, specs etc. Should be good; was getting a bit stressed about it on Sunday, but after completing the first day, I feel somewhat better. It'll be tough, but challenging and I'm warming up to everyone there :/ :) I even have my own pass with a cheesy-smiling me staring back at me!

I went to the big shopping centre of Glebe to buy goat's cheese, sandwich fillings etc. I gave in and had to buy the mini scooter thing. (Photo to follow, once I've uploaded the others :D )

Yawn! Time for bed :)

The Other Way / Watson Bay / No Escape / Later

2007-10-06T22:29:00.001+10:00

I walked The Other Way down George Street today and discovered a pleasantly large shopping centre where I spent the hottest hours of the afternoon enjoying the air conditioning :)

Came rather close to buying a teeny push-scooter (one of the non-powered metalic skateboardesque-things-with-handlebars); the 45minute walk to work in the toasty heat is tough going, and a push-scooter would let me sail down the hills! :)

Visited Watson Bay and Gap Bluff, which is an ex-military cliff top outlook onto the Pacific which has been designated an Australian National Park. Very windy today up there. Traveled there by Sydney Ferries' SuperCat which was officially Woosh! Took the bus back just in time before it started to rain :D

The dorm is now down to three people. The French girl will be leaving tomorrow, so unless someone turns up, it'll be down to two. The other chap is friendly enough, but doesn't stop talking. Hence I'm hiding in this web cafe. Once I've posted this, I'll be pretending to use the computer whilst actually reading my book. When I say to the chap in the dorm "I'm now going to read my book" he just keeps on talking! That, combined with the explicit stories of Thailand he tells everyone he meets (including all girls he meets!) results in much embarrassment... and I didn't think I could get embarrassed easily :/ - there are just some things you don't tell strangers! :0

I asked the reception girl if I could "Upgrade" to a single dorm... she said it was possible, so this may become an option. It's a shame, because he's friendly enough; he just doesn't stop!

Sent some emails to sort out a flat share. Nothing back yet!

Tomorrow shall be spent mooching, lazing and schnuffling around Sydney. I still need to book some things to do later in the week, but as I don't know which days I'm working, it's tricky.
I'm still worried that they want me to work five days a week and late into the night :/

The Induction

2007-10-05T18:36:00.001+10:00

Today was my warmup day at work (10am-4pm). They seem a decent bunch of people and I suspect once I get to know them will be a good laugh. The office is very smart and apparently I can kayak to work if I chose :P ... oh my goodness are they focused on the business! Changing from the public sector to the private one is going to be tough, but better sooner than later... I think! :/ I believe that I can do the work - it'll be challenging, but that's something I've needed for a long time; my only concern is that I will be asked to work full-time rather than the few days a week that was agreed.

I'm continuing to look for a flatshare, but am dare-I-say-it growing fond of the group in the dorm... even the snoring is less noticeable. Thankfully I've been so knackered that I fall (and stay) asleep quickly; which is handy when you find out from the other three that they were kept up all night by a couple in the dorm next door having rampant hows'yerfather! :P

My goodness I need a drink tonight. Yesterday was a Frequent Noodle, as I decided to spoil myself before starting work today. The day before was chicken satay in the WakeUp bar - I came back late from using t'internet and had agreed to go for a drink with the guys from the dorm. When I arrived in the bar, the only one I could see was busy chatting up a girl, so to avoid acting the gooseberry, I left them to it, had dinner and wandered back to read meh book. Tonight's menu will probably be something from the WakeUp bar again :)

Day of calm

2007-10-04T11:16:00.002+10:00

Aftermorning all! (Warning: Dull Post Alert!)

Today (so far) has been a day of madness, preparing for tomorrow's big first day. Had to buy a long sleeved shirt. Chose a blue one... hopefully they won't be too offended by it.

Finally found a shop that sells imported copies of Private Eye, and bought a little FM/AM radio (the whirring of the windup one I took annoys the other people in the dorm :/)

Had a chat with one of the other people in the dorm, but everyone else in the hostel seems to be German, Spanish or Italian, so communication is difficult. Yesterday's foot (Satay Beef) from the hostel bar was 4tw! vereh filling. I suspect today will be a FrequentNoodle night! :)

This afternoon will hopefully be spent at the Botanic gardens, reading meh book :)

My ears!

2007-10-03T13:01:00.001+10:00

Oh my goodness! The Snoring! ALL NIGHT! ARRRRRGGGG! (That and I had to be up early for an informal chat with prospective employers today! Apart from that, WakeUp and the people in my room seem a nice bunch. Still, I think I need to find a flatshare with my own room and bathroom... pronto!

The meet up seemed to go well... I don't think I offended them too much! :P The fun is due to start on Friday :) Picnic Stations! :0

It's 32degrees C here; apparently hot for this time of year. Dressed smartly, I am filled with toastiness!

Hello Hostel, Goodbye Hotel

2007-10-02T14:08:00.001+10:00

Today I have checked out of the Hotel and into the Hostel... Seems nice. Details to follow once I've settled in. :)

Oh, and I am now an official Frequent Noodler (http://www.frequentnoodler.com.au/index.php) No Giggling at the back, Mr Rashpal! :P

Apol4Length! :P (More later :D)

Saturday

2007-09-29T22:09:00.001+10:00

After all the walking yesterday, I decide to take it easy. I go for a swim at the hotel pool on the roof at 6:30am, but only manage a few laps of the teeny pool before I start feeling cold. Was the only one up there, so scurried back in for a cup of tea, then downstairs for a fruity breakfast. Sunday shall be a Full English Breakfast!

Wandered outside and discovered that all banks, post offices etc are closed and that this Monday will be a bank holiday (Labor[sic] day). Also discovered that someone had built a street market outside the hotel! (which explains the noise this morning... I had thought it was some noisy ineffectual dustbin men.)

Stagger to the Sydney Harbour Bridge and investigate the "Archaeological" area underneath. Picked up a leaflet on climbing the bridge and then walked across the bridge to the north side.

Upon my return, I have a Subway (yum!) and hide from a clown.

It's a lovely city, and am having a good time, but as I had predicted, it's oh so lonely. Sydney seems to be a city of couples.

Still confuzzled by the time, so I return to the hotel for another siesta. Hooray! I discover BBC World Service on the radio and fall asleep. Here's my summary of jetlag so far:

Wednesday: In the air/at airports etc. Not a clue what the time is/was.
Thursday: There was a Thursday this week?
Friday: Vaguely conscious. Can string sentences together, but need constant reminders of what I'm talking about (no change there then ;/ )
Saturday: Meh!

Woke up at 8pm and had a lamb skewer thing at a local pub (with a Carlton beer to wash it down). Snoozy teim! :D

Friday

2007-09-28T22:59:00.001+10:00

Still confuzzled, but awake enough to walk to the Botanical Gardens.

Expecting to see spiders & snakes at every turn, yet the only animals that I eventually see are the snoozy-yet-noisy bats who have come to roost in the trees after spending all night eating the flys that are drawn to the lit brilliant-white Opera House. The Botanical Gardens' leaflet says "Please walk on the grass and hug the trees". Sage advice.

Wandered to the edge of the Botanical gardens by the harbour and up past Mrs Macquarie's Chair. Continuing on, I saw five or six Australian Navy gunships/frigates (or whatever they call big grey ships with guns on).

Progressing further, I see signs that I'm getting near Kings Cross. Taking the advice from those who have been here before, I walked the other way & ended up somewhat lost in the Surrey Hills district. I discover and and confused by a Woolworths,

a) because the sell groceries
b) because I couldn't find the way in.

After five minutes of searching, I give up and continue my wanderings.

Further still, I arrived at the Central train/coach station and found both the Wakeup Hostel (looks good from the outside) and a great big market.

Stopped near the station for lunch (Chicken Sandwich) and overheard four railway staff moaning about their employers, the service, the passengers and other employees... 7000miles and nothing changes! :P

Walked back up Pitt St and accidentally discovered Wagamamas (in the Victoria Shopping Centre or similar). A mental note was made.

Arrived back at the hotel just in time to start my siesta. (still so confuzzled by the time change). Woke at 7pm and decided to test Wagamamas. Result: Good!

The Arival

2007-09-28T07:45:00.001+10:00

The flights were grand. Here's a summary of events:

Flying into Dubai, I saw a ship firing sand at a new palm island they are building. the ship was huge, yet compared to the size of the island, it was minuscule... It must have taken ages to get this far.
On arrival at Dubai, we were bussed to the terminal. It was oh-so-hot... thankfully the bus was airconditioned!
Flying to Bangkok, the lovely South African air hostesses did their best to flirt with me in the galley. Woo! :)
Was told off by the Thai airport guard for taking one of the complimentary bag things from the plane but not declaring it as liquid. Eeep!

Arrived at Sydney airport at around 7/8am. Going through customs was fine, and I even located the queue for the working holiday visa stickers (Thanks Ian/Bex! :D). Quarantine was somewhat more panic stricken. Signs were everywhere saying that no could bring *any* food into the country. I realised I had... teabags* in my case. I told the airport official at the Xray machine my fears and she just laughed... thank goodness! (her colleague whispered loudly to her to ask if 'the paddywaggon was out back for me'... but at least I didn't have to pay the AU$60,000 fine :D

I was driven to the hotel in The Rocks and managed to get my room straight away. The room is good, but was generally confused by:

the lights
the safe
the aircon

Fell out of the hotel and shopped for more biscuits, water and a simcard in one of the Pitt Street Malls. At roughly 12noon, the jetlag hit me right between the thingamys as I was standing in a bookshop. The only solution was food. And fast! Out the window went my plan to eat healthily as I took an emergency diversion to Hungry Jack's (Australia's version of Burgahking) and sat there filling myself with patty-based jetlag begone!

Wandered back to the hotel and had a snooze. Slept through the alarm and fell into the hotel restaurant (couldn't manage any further tonight!) where I promptly ordered a VB (Victoria Beer) and something predominantly lamby.

After dinner, I walked past Circular Quay to the Opera house - so big! There weren't that many people there, but the area reminded me of London's South Bank (if the South Bank was warmer and generally better looked after!)

I don't feel as if I've traveled very far and can't quite comprehend the differences - this is probably the jetlag... however I do appreciate the friendly atmosphere :)

* and maybe biscuits too!

Getting there; just getting started

2007-09-26T04:29:00.001+10:00

As I sit here in the Emirates' business lounge at Heathrow Terminal 3, I ponder with fond memories the joy of going through security, passport checks and other such fun. Sipping my complimentary Innocent Smoothie (I may go back for the all-you-can-drink liqour & nibbles table later), I feel no sadness that my flight is delayed by thirty minutes... it will give me a bit more time to soak in the relaxed nature of this somewhat schnazzy lounge, as well as allowing me to eat a few more complimentary shish-kebabs.

Yes. I am gloating. But I'm allowed to for now, as in about an hour's time I shall be stuck in a series of aluminium tubes for many many hours. My mild fear of flying, combined with the article I read in Private Eye about the dangers of poorly maintained aircraft engines (leading to toxic fumes in the cabin) fill me with trepidation :/

To be honest, all the above is bravardo (ok, I do like the free food!), as the enormity of this trip is terrifying! Away for a while, on the other side of the world :/ - Under my cool, calm, collected (not-to-forget suave) exterior, I'm at panic stations! I think I need a cup of tea :)

Update: Thanks to everyone on Webmessenger tonight who stopped me from panicking quite as much as I otherwise would have done! :)

All the best,

Greg

The Party

2007-09-24T22:03:00.000+10:00

Canon - Canon DIGITAL IXUS 65 - 2007-09-22 19-42-16.jpg
Originally uploaded by Pablo Mulvi

Here are but a few of the party-goers from Saturday! :) Check out Greg, Paul and Rashpal's photo pages.

Windows Movie Maker 4tw!

2007-09-24T19:32:00.000+10:00

Hi,

Here's a video to say goodbye. Unfortunately, Java decided that she wanted to play in the garden half way through the video-shoot (I was aiming for a rather trendy multi-camera effect with only one camera*)... but there are definitely no continuity errors! :)

* Misleading the public? I've learnt well! :P

Meow / "It does mean changing the bulb"

2007-09-24T17:04:00.000+10:00

Just over a day to go before I fly out. Java saw us pulling the case from the loft - and was not happy at the sight. We think that she'd realised something was going on about two weeks ago when she started changing her night routine to sleep on parent's bed instead of my own. It's so sad that I can't explain to the poor little girl why I'm off. :( I'm sure she'll be fine... she'll be too busy keeping parents out of trouble :)

Dad and I replaced the old florescent lighting in the kitchen with new holders and bulbs. They look rather good (given that they are just florescent fittings and not of the trendy ilk). Other than that, we remained at panic stations for most of Sunday. Today will probably be the same :0

The Famous List (Report #1)

2007-09-21T08:12:00.000+10:00

Now that I have left the Beeb, seeing famous people becomes exciting! Today I passed by Germaine Greer whilst crossing South Africa Road in West London (admitedly right in front of the BBC White City Building :P).

I also saw someone who was practically Robert Llewellyn (of Red Dwarf/Scrapheap Challenge fame)... but wasn't. This chap has confused me in the past by walking around looking like said R.L. so I have learnt not to fall for his web of deceit!

And now it's time to sleep.

Goodbye Woodlands / Yesterday's Eeep

2007-09-21T02:59:00.001+10:00

Fairwell
Met up with Gemma & Andrew today for lunch and was lucky enough to gain entry into Woodlands for a final Curry Thursday. T'was a grand lunch :)
Hair has been chopped (Hairdresser: "Blimey! Your hair's so coarse & thick!" :/ ) and some curfuffles have been remedied. Bumped into Andrew N-S in the coffeeshoppe and said goodbye to him too.

Arg!
Sod's law was upheld yesterday. A girl I rather liked (who just began working in Starbucks (Ux)) started to flirt with me with less than a week before I fly off! Arrrg*! :(

*obviously, as happens every time when it comes to such things, me being me, I was far too dumb/shy to make the first move when we first started politely chatting a few weeks back :/

Boxes, boxes and bills

2007-09-19T04:19:00.000+10:00

Slowly boxing things up for the loft, mild panic continues as I keep reminding myself just what I've got myself into.

Went to Ian & Bex's house for tea, DVDs, cards and other such games and asked lots of awkward questions about Australia. Hope I know just what I need to do! :0 Tried out the Beeb's new ERadio service on DCable (VirginMedia): Very good, but I discovered a teeny palette issue that is only noticable when the brightness is turned up to 11. Emailed Farah, who probably now hates me! :P

Bills etc being transferred, adjusted etc. Took car to Honda for its first service - the cheeky blighters at Honda charged me ten squids for the "Free Courtesy Car" grrr. Other than that, all ok. Was given a black manual Jazz as the courtesy car which caused much confuzzlement, as my Jazz is an auto. No stalling thank goodness! :D

Dave popped by to return the fold-up bed that was borrowed. Pushed my "Essential Linux Administration" book onto him (I reckon he's gonna need it in his new job! :) ) then inflicted a game of cards ("sh*thead") on him.

My phone is now PAYG. Orange have really gone downhill... their computers weren't working when I called their offshore callcentre. They've even changed their automated voice girl from a rather schexy posh woman to someone ("Ruth") who sounds dizzy and ineffectual. See my rant on The Register's comments section: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2007/09/18/orange_voice/comments/

Promise to try to be a bit more coherent from now on in this blog. This prolly won't be made of complete and correct sentences until I've settled down a bit whilst out there.

Lots of love,

Greg

Days away

2007-09-17T04:04:00.000+10:00

Afternoon all,

Post First this is yes. Mild panic as I attempt to get everything in order. Mild panic as I think I've lost my chequebook. Mild panic as I attempt to reassure the girl on the phone that I will still be a UK Citizen whilst away and that no, she shouldn't shut down my account. Then there was tea, so it all calmed down somewhat :) Now it is pub time.