Book Review #4

Fight Club (Chuck Palahniuk)
First of all, if you haven’t seen the film because of the media hysteria that surrounded it, rent it, buy it, borrow it and watch it. Contrary to the reports at the time, it doesn’t glorify violence (much), but rather charts the decent of a man into (and through) madness... and it made the cinematic Twist popular again.

So, as you can tell, I liked the film. The soundtrack was cool, and I didn’t anticipate the ending*. But anyway, I digress. Back to the review. Oh, it hasn’t started yet. OK, here goes:

Fight Club (Chuck Palahniuk)
This is without doubt the darkest book I have ever read. I picked it up on a whim in A&R, partly out of frustration at not having anything to read. I’m glad I chose it.

Neil Gaiman’s wares are fluffy and sugary by comparison (and I still remember the chill running down my spine as I read his “Fragile Things”). Palahalanlanikie’s book is... dirty too. Far more so than the film. The reader is drawn into the bleak, meaningless life of the protagonists; their empty existence in a world which to them doesn’t care or love them. Just like the film, a lot of it is unbelievable, but Palandromuk’s narrative mix of darkness and sporadic humour kept me hooked^†. It’s not a long book, but I polished it off in a week — Indeed, my index finger was red raw from the speed at which I read it :P

Compared to this book, the film was slightly Disneyfied. The book’s violence and desolateness were ramped down and the relationship between the two characters was played down too. Other than this, the film mostly followed the plot of the book quite diligently, albeit slightly out of order.

A good book, but not to be read by the faint-hearted or easily offended. I enjoyed reading it, but I felt it was missing something. There was lots of substance, but not much soul — although that may well be the point the author was trying to make. Score: B+


*Knowing the ending spoilt the book somewhat, so no, don’t read the film until you’ve seen the book.
† His writing style is heavily colloquial and at times a torrent of conversation with minimal guidance for the reader. I had to banish my inner pedant whilst reading it. He enjoyed the holiday!

“Hogwarts for Pikeys”

I’ve just seen the newly-released-to-Australia St Trinian’s film. Drawn as I was to supporting English cinema, it wasn’t the cinematic event of the year. However, it did make me giggle :)

Interestingly, I found the moments of high hilarity (ie: comedic moments of widdlesome proportions) weren't always shared with my Australian audience. Likewise, they laughed at things that just weren’t funny. It’s weird being the only one laughing at something that is guaranteed humorous back home.

Perhaps it was down to the clever writing, perhaps it was the sweet release of English Humour that I crave (and find in short supply), or maybe it was the copious amount of Red Bull I drank before the trailers, yet I thought it was definitely worth the trip across town* :)

The only major complaint I have – other than at the end, someone who looks dangerously like Peter Mandelson has a bit-part – is that it can’t decide which sort of film to be. Part of the time it’s a children’s film with subtle adult humour to keep the parents happy. Other times it’s more adult, then veers off to Mission Impossible! Whether originally intended as a children’s or older, the Australians gave it a certificate “M”…

On the way home, I fell into a rowdy bus of Americans, playing a variant of Cheddar Gorge but to a series of tappings and slappings. CraZy! Don't they know the rules?


*Double points awarded to Russell Brand’s character’s attempts at playing a German (to persuade someone that he was a famous art dealer) that were clearly modelled on Lt Grüber from Allo Allo. Unfortunately, these points were deducted for excessive product placement.

Heading in the right direction

I made this video to demonstrate just how amazing Australian transport is!


I filmed it a while back (when I visited Emu Plains), and have only just found it nestled in my PC :) I still have no 'proper' camera, as my Canon Ixus died :( Does anyone have any recommendations? :)

Book underflow error :/

Help! I have run out of things to read, and the local bookshop has nothing that catches my eye (despite spending an hour and a half in there). All suggestions gratefully accepted :)

Mystic Greg's Premonition
Greg's prediction: E-Books will become popular within three hardware generations of the current/gaggle/of contenders, presuming that functionality improves* and sensible (open?) standards are used. But if anyone wants to get me one now, I won't say no! :D


*Greg wants them to let him read Word/PDF/Plucker/Txt/RTF/PPT documents without paying a conversion fee (Amazon, I'm talking to you!), render HTML and let me download RSS feeds without a fee too (greedy Amazon!!!). Perhaps the Asus could take the work they've done with their Eee PC, change the UI to be more static, swap the screen, turn it into a tablet and Bob's yer' uncle! Is it too much to ask? :P

Book Review #3

Another in the occasional series covering the words between covers...

Musicophillia (Oliver Sacks)
I was drawn to the cover of this book some time ago, but didn't get around to buying it. I stumbled upon it once more in a little shop in Crows Nest and out of boredom, bought it as something to further my rather lacklustre musical abilities interests.

You should never judge a book by its cover, and whilst I enjoyed it, the happy-go-lucky typographic joy on the front did not match the heavy prose within. Written in the form of a university dissertation, it discusses the author's research into how music affects the brain, both good and bad. It is filled with heart-warming and saddening case stories of patients he has met, as well as some amusing side-notes on his own personal experiences with music. (One footnote tells of how "Like many medical students in the '60s, I was surviving on large doses of amphetamines and discovered a marked change in my perception of music".) It was these amusing musical anecdotes that kept me hooked through the slower sections of this thick romp through conditions from Alzheimer's to Williams' syndrome (I don't think he covered anything beginning with X, Y or Z, but definitely everything in-between A and W!).

As mentioned, it was a heavy read; both my brain and my index finger were weary after finishing it. Well worth a read, if you want to know just how strongly music affects us all.

Rupert's Adventures in China: How Murdoch lost a fortune and found a wife (Bruce Dover)
Comprising two subjects that are hard to find a balanced and unbiased viewpoint on, Bruce Dover (an ex-News Corp executive) introduces Murdoch to the reader in what appears to be a fairly frank way. He is praised for his successes and his failures are fully documented. It was a pleasant read (although compared to Musicophilia which I had read previously, anything would be an easy read) and the author's style is engaging; I managed to finish it within a week.

The author also paints a fairly frank picture of the Chinese government and its myriad departments and factions. Not knowing that much about the inner workings of Murdoch or the Chinese government, I can't say how true his recollections are, however for the most part, he manages to avoid bitterness towards Murdoch (who fired him) and the Chinese who thwarted his attempts at entry into the lucrative domestic satellite TV market; in 99% of the book, he remains up-beat about Murdoch and summarises the goings on of the government with a level of abstraction.

Worth a read, if only so that you can argue about its findings :)

Proposed Shotgun Rules 2008 Rev1.0

The last official release of the Shotgun Rules for The Glorious Collective (UK Regulatory Body) were published roughly this time last year. The shotgunning landscape has changed significantly over the past twelve months, and so the rules must be adjusted accordingly. With the recent introduction of the Webingnet, we can now disseminate documents to the wider populace; indeed, beyond Buckinghamshire. Should these updated rules be passed by the Opulent Council of the Denham Roundabout, they will come into affect as of 30th March 2008 0000GMT.

(The following is based on the myriad rules of Shotgun on the internet from a few years back, re-written and amended over time with a vague hint of grammar and the addition of appropriate Collective bylaws).

Please take note of rules 1.1 and 2.4.

1. VALID CALLS (IMPLICIT, EXPLICIT AND TACIT)
1.1. Both the the Shotgunner and Driver must be in clear sight of the car.
1.2. If you are the first to be picked up on a journey, you are automatically given shotgun until you violate the other shotgun laws and thus, forfeit your position.
1.3. The driver must clearly hear the Shotgun call.

2. INVALID CALLS
2.1. You cannot declare shotgun if someone has previously declared shotgun for that journey.
2.2. Shotgun cannot be called whilst inside a building (unless the caller(s) and driver are in a multi storey or underground car park)
2.3. Shotgun cannot be called in advance, only whilst on the way to the car for the journey.
2.4. The PENALTY for invalid calling is the forfeiting of all and any shotgun rights for the journey. Repeat offenders may be banned for longer periods at the Driver's discression.
2.5. Any caller who successfully gains Shotgun must not move away from the car. Moving away from the car after receiving Shotgun is classed as an INVALID CALL.
2.6. If Shotgun has already been called: If the driver gets in and reaches over to unlock the shotgun door and the chosen Shotgun opens it before its actually unlocked..(this happens when the driver is still trying to unlock it and person pulls on handle) they have to give up there rights as Shotgun, having just comited Shotgun suicide.

3. BOUNDARY-CASE CALLS AND CALLS OF CONTENTION
3.1. When simultaneous shotgun is called:
3.1.a. If ALL the callers are more than one car length from the vehicle, there is then a foot race to the passenger side door from the all the people who called.
3.1.b. IF ANY or NONE of the callers are within a car-length from the vehicle, an adudicated round (or three rounds) of Paper/Scisors/Stone will be held.
3.2. In the occurrence of more than one pirate then a sword fight shall determine the successful Shotgunner.

4. ALLOCATION OF THE REMAINING SEATS
4.1. Once shotgun has been called, then back left and back right can be called, thus leaving the fifth person who is travelling in the middle (or the "bitch" seat)
4.2. (Collective Corrigenda) The LAST person to call "I aint' no bitch" has to sit in the bitch seat if no other seat is available.
4.3. The claim/disclaim of the remaining seats can ONLY be made after a Shotgun call has been made. (The Shotgun does not have to be confirmed.)
4.3.a. Failure to adhere to this rule will be classed as an INVALID CALL. The caller forfeits any claims to a specific requested/unwanted seat.

5. SPECIFIC EXCEPTIONS (MOST IMPORTANT FIRST)
5.1. In the instance that the normal driver of a vehicle is drunk or otherwise unable to perform their duties as driver, then he/she is automatically given Shotgun.
5.2. The Pirate Rule - If One of the potential occupants of the vehicle is dressed (convincingly) as a pirate then they are given automatic shotgun. [Refer to rule 3.2.]
5.3. Automatic "Couple's Rights act 1997". If the driver is the boyfriend/girlfriend of a passenger in the car, the said passenger has the right to the seat of their choice.

6. DRIVER AUTHORITY AND ROLE
6.1. All decisions by the Driver are final. Anyone who disagrees with his/her decision has committed an INVALID CALL.
6.2. The Driver can choose (at their disgression) a "Designated Drunk", who will accept all offers of alcohol (toasts, free drinks etc) that the driver receives and cannot accept.
6.3. The Driver has ultimate control of radio/cd player/etc. and cabin temperature. However, the Driver can delegate control to the Shotgun.

7. SHOTGUN AUTHORITY AND ROLE
7.1. All navigational functions required by the driver must be performed by the Shotgunner.
7.2. The Shotgunner must shout "TETSUO!!!" to the Driver's call of "AKIRA!!!".
7.3. The Shotgunner must graciously accept control of radio/cd player/etc and/or control of cabin temperature.
7.3.a. The Shotgunner must graciously relinquish control of the above, at the driver's request.
7.3.b. If the Shotgun plays (or allows to play by tacit acceptance) any song by Take That, the Shotgunner will be automatically demoted to the Bitch seat.
7.4. The Shotgunner is expected to control unruly behaviour by passengers in the rear.
7.5. Holding Shotgun position gives no right whatsoever to correct the driver on their navigation skills ("Take a left here you dickhead!") or driving ability ("I'd be in third gear if I was driving") if the Shotgun does this, they forfeit their position as Shotgun.
20. The Shotgunner assumes the responsibility for all gate opening, off licence nipping into, takeaway ordering and question asking. He/she is, in essence the co-pilot and therefore the enforcer of behaviour in the vehicle and exacter of slaps/punches/bitchslaps/hissyfitting at the passengers in the back.

8. CLARIFICATIONS
8.1. ALL callers and potential callers are equal (with the exceptions described in the SPECIFIC EXCEPTIONS section).
8.2. Shotgun overrules Dibs, Baggsy's and and other girly calls!
8.3. If someone says "What's shotgun?" after it has been called then they have to walk.
8.4. When riding in a 2/3 door car it is the role of the Shotgun Rider to allow rear passengers in and out of the back of the car NOT the Driver's.

Royal National Park

Today I visited the Royal National Park, 30km south of Sydney. Oooo meh feet! I've walked miles & miles... then, realising that my destination (that I had planned so carefully back at the apartment) was in the middle of nowhere, with no buses to get back to civilisation, I had to walk miles & miles more :/

Started at Waterfall, walked to Uloola Falls, then to Audley, where I bought a lolly. Then walked up Honeymoon Track to Loftus, where I discovered a deserted and overgrown railway station (both cool, and "Bugger, how am I to get home?"), then walked along the hard shoulder of the Princes Highway until I fell into Sutherland.

Lovely place tho'. Barely saw anyone all day, apart from at Audley (did I mention I bought a lolly?). Photos to arrive on Flickr shortly :)

Having a day off too many!

Following agile processes and techniques, I had a bit of free time, so refactored the previous post into LOLCode, which meets my needs of indentation, and as such is a far superior solution.

HAI GIMMEH Fudz IN MAH BUKKET R YARNs "Spaghetti bolognese" AN "Stirfrii" AN "Sossidges un Beenz" AN "StakeunChips" DEN "Mixd beenz an rice stuff" I HAZ A lengf, ITZ HAWLONG IZ Fudz? I HAZ A spagycount ITZ NUN I HAZ A sturfrii ITZ NUN IM IN YR LOOP    IZ spagycount EQWAL TO WUN?    YARLY       NOM Spaghetti Bolognese       spagycount IZ NOW NUN!       GO BAX!    KTHX    IZ sturfrii EQWAL TO WUN?    YARLY       NOM Sturfrii       sturfrii IS NOW NUN!       GO BAX!    KTHX    I HAZ A meel ITZ IN MAH BUKKET OF Fudz AT RANDUM!    NOM meel    meel WTF?       OMG Spaghetti Bolognese!          UP spagycount, GTFO!       OMG Stirfrii!          UP sturfrii, GTFO!       OMG WTF?          GTFO!    IZ MAH SANITY SMALR THAN NUN?    YARLY       GTFO AN GET CHEEZBURGR!    KTHX IM OUTA YR LOOP KTHXBYE

As before, points will be awarded for explaining the two special cases :) Will there be an MHEG-5 version? Alas no, it breaks my heart to think of it.

Basic eating

Here's a quick summary of my eating habits at the moment....

10 DIM meals = ( "Spaghetti bolognese", "Stir-fry", ↷    "Sossidges & Beans", "Steak & Chips", ↷    "Mixed Bean & Rice thing" ) 15 length = LEN(meals) 17 spagCnt = 0 19 sfCnt = 0 20 DO 30 IF spagCnt = 1 40 GOSUB cook("Spaghetti bolognese") 50 spagCnt = 0 55 GOTO 20 60 END IF 70 IF sfCnt = 1 80 GOSUB cook("Stir-fry") 90 sfCnt = 0 100 GOTO 20 110 END IF 120 meal$ = meals(INT(length * RND) + 1) 125 GOSUB cook(meal$) 130 IF meal$ = "Spaghetti bolognese" 140 spagCnt = 1 150 END IF 160 IF meal$ = "Stir-fry" 170 sfCnt = 1 180 END IF 190 UNTIL (Sanity < 0) 200 GOTO TAKEOUT!

Points awarded for explaining the reason for the two special cases :)

Yes, I have way too much time on my hands and am quite possibly losing my mind.

Two things I have discovered from doing this are:

• Blogger's editor is 4TS and fudges things up if you try to do clever things in the "Edit Html" section first.


• The one thing I really missed when writing this was the Indentation. Please find your nearest programmer, inspect his/her code and if you find it wanting in indentation, head-slap them.
  Repeatedly.
  Until.
  They.
  Learn.
  GOTO head-slap.

I ♥ Sydney

Since finally knuckling down and booking my flights out of Sydney, I've come to the startling conclusion that I'm in love with the city, and almost don't want to leave.

I've spent a long time pondering what it is about it that I adore. Perhaps too much time. What has made this love even more confusing is that Sydneysiders are a cliquey bunch at the best of times; settling in has proved problematic. Coupled with my turbulent flatshare, there is very little reason for me to love it.

But love it, I do, and after much pondering, here - in no particular order - are my reasons why you should love it too... :D

Communal BBQs are in most outlying parks. Got a sossidge to cook? Stick a coin or two into the BBQ and get a-grilling. - But that's not the main reason why I love Sydney.
Go home on a Ferry, past the opera house and under the bridge, to Luna park or trendy Balmain. - Nor this.
Live in a city with more green than you care to consider. There are parks, reserves and leafy walkways everywhere. - Not this.
Enjoy civic events almost every other week. Noodles in the park, Australia day, Christmas BBQs and of course, NYE are just for starters.

No, it's the people that make the city so wonderful for me. Even though they stick to their own small groups, they're almost all professionals at chilling out and living The Australian Dream. It took a while for me to realise that this was the main reason for my love of Sydney. And it's surprising, as I've not been able to sidle my way into their groups.

I came to this conclusion earlier today, and have spend the rest of the day thinking about how best to describe them. The best I can come up with is that Sydneysiders are from Pleasantville.

Perhaps it's Australia's distance from the rest of the world. By this, I refer to both the physical sense and the lack of participation on the world stage; TV and newspapers seem to find "big" news hard to find locally, so often turn to the UK and US for their juicy stories. This gives a certain sense of remoteness from the foreign misery and darkness that Sydneysiders hear of. As such, the locals are an honest, open, innocent bunch, lacking the hard cynicism of Londoners (myself included). And this is what I love.

Generic Unspecified Post #1

Here's a quick roundup of goings on here in Sydney:

• Met up with Rene (of Beeb fame) for a grand lunch at the Star City Casino (opposite work). Was great to catch up and she looked as well as ever.
  
• Inspected Paddington Market. Deemed it good, despite it not selling much that I would want (Beads, arty things, bracelets, necklaces etc)... well, maybe the necklaces caught my eye :P Discovered a Wagamamas nearby.
  
• Went back to my local Wagamamas after a 1 month hiatus. The girl recognised me and ordered my usual before I had sat down!
• Have been accused of being weird by my boss on 3 separate occasions since I last mentioned it in this blog. On the plus side, the head of IT Networks was sad to hear of my departure, saying that I was the only one that knew what was going on. This cheered me up no end, as I was feeling rather glum.
• Ah yes... I leave work on 4th April, ready for pastures new.
  
• Handed my one month's notice to my landlady. I fly out on 9th April to glorious Brissy, where I shall be residing in the finest YHA in the city.
• My camera is broken; a bit of plastic on the SD card snapped off inside it. No photos on flickr until I can get it to a shop to be repaired.
• Last but not least, I am now the proud owner of a travel towel.

From Work to the Apartment (vol 1)

Here's a video of my journey from Pyrmont Bay to McMahnon's Point. Sit back, relax and let the ferry take you on a magical journey.